Brilliant

Can I Get A Spot Please...

This Would Make Uncle Jerry Proud...

This young man paid attention in History...

Time Keeps On Slippin...

Only 5 more days till Christmas. Where does the time go? It seems that even though we start the season earlier and earlier every year (starbucks has stuff out before Halloweeen), every year it goes by faster and faster. We'll have Christmas with the in-laws tomorrow, and zip to california for the day on monday. Then it's over. All the hype. All the wrapping. All the excitement. Boom. Done.

I'll turn 29 next year. Man I'm getting old.

And fat.

And bald.

Got a lot going for me right now.

Merry Christmas.

I'll Take Three!!

It Happened Again...

I previously posted about a conversation I had with a youth minister's wife about her church. You can read the post here. I'm writing today because I had another one of those conversations. I had breakfast with a guy who works at a local church and he made the same statement. He said, "If I didn't work there, I wouldn't attend." For some reason this just tears me up inside.

Now don't get me wrong. I don't think he's wrong for feeling that way. I certainly have felt that way before. But the part that bother's me is that they don't do anything about it. For me, when it has come to that point, you're just collecting a paycheck. And if that's the case, I think you're doubly stupid because there are a lot more things you can do to make a lot more money.

I just don't see how someone can stay in that position and live with themselves. When I quit the last church I was working at, I didn't have anything to fall back on. I just knew that my ministry had become paycheck collecting and that ISN'T RIGHT. So I left without a job to go to. I'd rather be jobless then disgrace myself in that manner.

Am I being to hard on this guy? Maybe. But it's people like this that I think really can change the local church if they are willing to leave their comfort zone.

Quick! Run For Your Lives...

At the 2:15 mark, the man says "Go ahead and laugh..."

I didn't realize we were supposed to wait.

Never Again...

I don't ever want to hear anyone EVER complain about the refs in the Indy/Pats game. Last night it was simply incredible. The Ravens won the game three times. Luckily, the Pats had the zebras there to bail them out. They called an illegal timeout. They called an offensive penalty on a failed fourth down. And they can apparently see ghosts. That's the only explanation as to who could've held Ben Watson, because Jamaine Winborne sure didn't.

I hate the patriots. I not sure I ever thought I'd say this but, "GO STEELERS!"

And I Thought My Jeep Was Killer...

Usually, putting the words suzuki sidekick, redneck, beer, and humongous pile of dirt in the same sentence would also have to include one of the following: ambulance, airlift, and/or emergency room. However, even from a group of guys who can't spell the word 'video', sometimes everything goes perfect. Usually I would only post a video like this when it ends in some kind of catastrophic awesomeness of fiery flames and lots and lots of broken limbs. However, maybe it's the fantastic slow-mos or the slight chance that I may actually be related to a couple of these people, I just could not pass up this opportunity. I'll warn you now, the language is a bit...uh...urban, so if you have virgin ears, please mute the sound. You will still enjoy one of the greatest stunts ever performed.

(PS, I love that the driver puts on a helmet. Absolutely classic.)

I'm Going To Stop Apologizing...

As I mentioned earlier, I love football. So Betsy, I know this makes like 5 of the last 6 about football, but I don't care. I love this sport.

Because I now work on Sundays, I don't get to watch it as much as I would like. Still, I get to see enough to know when we have a superstar on our hands.

Did you see Adrian Peterson yesterday? He has become his own human highlight reel. I can only imagine what kind of "where'd you leave your jockstrap" jokes Kenoy Kennedy is going to have to put up with this week.

I only hope he stays healthy and isn't as injury prone as he's been his senior year and this year. Only time will tell, but dang, is this guy good.

Sorry Betsy.

Look, I know I'm not a powerful voice in the sports blogging community. But after last night, it is a downright SIN not to have a college football tourney to decide the National Champion. Ohio Freakin State is going to play in the Bull Crap Series championship. Everyone knows the Big Ten is a Big Joke when it comes to football, and I'm an Indiana man.

Georgia finished the season ranked in the top four and yet didn't even play for their conference championship. Hawaii never lost and insn't even a contender for the most important BCS game. Kansas's only loss was to a team whose only two losses were to a team who lost to Colorado.

A common addage at the sports books in reference to point spreads is "That's why you play the game." Pitt and West Va proved it again last night, yet that's the problem, the game to determine a true National Champ will never be played. In a year when, most likely, a team with two losses will probably play for the sears trophy, how can you not take a step back and at least take a step towards a playoff. After the money I've lost thanks to the Cardinal , I deserve it!

Flo, gin is a sin. I golf.

I went to my buddy Bill's blog today. He posted a video thank you that was inspired by a Bob Dylan Song. When I went on youtube to watch the Dylan song, I found a parady by none other than the great "Weird Al" Yankovic. I started watching it, and it took me awhile, but when I finally figured out what he was doing, it made me laugh a lot! Enjoy:

A Couple Of Random Thoughts...

Quote from "Why The Christian Right is Wrong"...

"If the church is to be saved, it will be(sic) have to be recovered. By this I don't mean to say that we can turn back the clock to some nostalgic, nonexistent moment when everyone agreed on the nature of God, sin, and salvation but rather to a time when membership in The Way required no creeds and only one simple confession: Jesus Christ is Lord.

Impossible as it seems today, when so many defenders of the faith stake out theological positions and then defend them like a gunfighter, the essence of the Christian faith did not begin as a set of beliefs about Jesus but as response to Jesus. The first followers were not part of a school of thought but a beloved community, formed in response to a beloved teacher who opened the heavens and revealed a God whose unconditional love astonished them. It was a God they had never met, revealed by a man they could never forget.

I think it's more often then not that the shaping of my faith is done by what others will think if I'm not that way instead of my simple reaction to what Christ has done for me.

From a Mars Hill Bible Church Podcast...

"A character is defined in a story by what he does, not by what he thinks of himself."

This is just a good reminder to take a step back from my life and evaluate it by the life I am leading, not simply by the life I think I'm leading.

301 Anybody?

When I was setting up my office in Colorado, I found an old dartboard case lying around backstage. You know the kind that usually has a beer slogan on the front of it's two doors and then opens up to chalkboards on either door and a place to store the darts. Well, this was a just a little generic wooden dartboard case (is that even the proper term?). Bill and I played many a mean series on that board. We even made up games with names such as: "Blackjack" (where the goal was to get to 21), "Round the World" (Hitting 1-20 then the bullseyes in order), and my personal favorite, "Vegas" (where we put the dartboard on one end of the room and threw the darts from the other end to see who could get the closest to the center. Why 'Vegas' you ask? Cause it was a long shot...get it?). We played so much we didn't play to the best of five. We didn't play to the best of seven. We didn't even play to the best of 15. We played to the best of 99. First one to win fifty games was the winner. And I'll save Bill the trouble of gloating. He won our series three sets to none. (That's three best of 99 game sets).

I found the clip below on youtube. It really isn't all that incredible. But it made me remember the good times in my office throwing darts and dreaming of the kingdom.

I'm sorry...

Dear God,

I'm sorry for calling them your team. It was all just a joke. Can you please let Vinatieri hit some field goals again? I mean, at first it was a little funny, but now...well to be honest, it's starting to cause some problems with the ol' ticker. I was just responding to some unfound aligations by some retards...I mean, some of your loving children, and was truly just joking around. So, please take your curse off of Jesus Mann...I mean, Peyton Manning and the boys and I would greatly appreciate it. (But thank you for keeping Bob Sander healthy.)

Your Obediant Loving Son,

Jake

The Wisdom of an Eight Year College Grad...

I was having a bad week. Last wednesday morning (my day off) I woke to my wife frantically telling me that her car wouldn't start. So I go down, give it a jump and she's off. Figured she probably just left a light on or something.

Then, the next morning, it won't start again. Now I know something is up, so when I get home from work that day, I spend three hours trying to find the darn battery (which ended up being underneath the spare tire. Crummy Germans...). I finally find the thing and after pulling it out I head to my local Autozone. Except when I went to get into my car, I dropped my brand new Iphone and smashed the screen to peices. Frustrated beyond comprehension, I spend an hour waiting at Autozone while they charge then test my battery. After an hour (which makes this now about four hours of dealing with something that shouldn't have taken one) I find out my battery is fine.

Well, now I'm really feeling crappy cause I don't know how to change the altinator in my BMW (it took me three hours to find the battery, remember?) and the only people that can do it and keep the warrenty intact is the dealership. And they charge an arm and a leg.

Meanwhile I call Apple to find out what my options are for my phone. They say they can fix it. For $250. And then the lady on the phone adds this, "You might as well just buy a new phone." REALLY? That's your excellent customer service Apple? I realize it's not your fault I dropped my phone, but $250 and the advice to just buy a new one? Come on! It's at most a $20 repair. It'll take some chinaman fifteen minutes and 5 bucks in parts to fix. Don't give me this $250 crap.

So like I said, I was having a bad week. Then my best friend from home calls me up and asks me how I'm doing. I let him have it with all the drama. He says, "Listen to you!"

(and in a mocking voice adds) "My iphone broke, my beamer is busted...wah wah wah!"

God, you have given me a good life. Sometimes I forget just how fortunate I am to work a good job, make good money, have a wonderful wife with a house and two dogs. There are so many people out there who struggle just to find the next meal. Please forgive me when I put other, less important, things in front of seeking you and your will. Please forgive me when I fail to give to others after you have given me so much.

Thanks Brent for reminding me how fortunate I am.

And thanks for nothing Apple. I mean Crapple.

Now I Remember...

Oh man, what a good episode. Just when you think you're getting at the bottom of it, they pull the ol' switcharoo and take it deeper. The complaint last year with this show is that nothing ever happened. And I agree, nothing ever did until the end of the show. But this year, they really seem to be trying to fix that, and last night was a great start.

The only complaint I have is that they are still trying to incorporate too many characters. Like last night, they didn't even get to Sylar and the mexicans (I know they aren't mexican, but I forget where they came from and they are trying to illegally come into America, so really, what's the difference?). But still, at least they aren't waiting till the end of time to actually have the characters use their abilities.

Okay, back to my batcave...

Update on God's Team...

We are still pure of heart. Read here.

Have You Heard About This?

I came across this video on my favorite sports blog and couldn't/didn't want to believe it.



If this is actually what happened at the game, I certainly think something is up. The comments on the different sports blogs are comparing this to the Patriots filming. I'm not ready to go that far, but I would like to know what's up. There are several reasons why I don't believe the colts would do this and several reasons why I think the video doesn't make sense (like if the colts were going to cheat in this manner, why would they use a cd? Hard drive players, such as an ipod, would make much more sense and be much more discreet and reliable.).

One thing I am tired of is comparing this to Belichick taping his opponents signals. Even a non-colts fan could see this difference between making it hard to communicate and having a record of your opponent's playbook and signals. Plus, I doubt very much this was initiated by Dungy, whereas Belichick seemed to be the sole mastermind behind the videotaping.

Also, the other minor accusation going around about the radio jamming just doesn't make any sense. Get better equipment.

But, if the Colts are guilty of this, they need to be punished. And Colts fans everywhere should be ashamed we can't make enough noise on our own. And the Colts need to score a touchdown when they are on the five yard line.

Thus saith the Lord.

Well...

What can I say?

Losing sucks.

I'm Nervous...

Colts vs. Patriots. Manning vs. Brady. Winners vs. Cheaters.

What a weekend. I can't think of a game all year that will get the kind of hype the Colts/Pats game is getting. And why shouldn't it? These are the best two teams in the NFL bar none. It's no secret the NFC is the ugly step-sister of the princess AFC. The NFC gave it their best shot and it was still boring.

This will be the most exciting game since last years AFC Championship (which was won by the Colts in case your keeping score...and if you're keeping score it was 38-34). And will remain that way until they meet again in this years post-season spectacular.

I make fun of the Patriots a lot (and why shouldn't I? cheaters...) but the truth is, they probably should be favorites this weekend. They've scored more this season than the girls on the backs of those little cards they hand out on the strip (and I hear those girls get around!). Of course, I think I could put up 28 against the mentally challenged waste of humans that call themselves the New York Jets, but I digress...

It should be a good game, and I'm very much looking forward to it. But, just to remind ourselves of how the last one ended....Enjoy!

My Therapy...

Don't Mess With The Falcons...

...cause you might get danced on all up in the hizzie!

Summer of Fear!!!!

Across The Universe Of Weird...

Saw "Across The Universe" today. Whenever I see an art/indie flick I'm always hesitant to say anything about it because 9 times out of 10, the film is amazing and I'm just uncultured swine that doesn't know what I'm talking about.

But alas, I will comment.

Didn't like it. I mean, I get the whole story through a Beatles song thing. I get that they trancended so many decades and movements and what not. I still just didn't like the film.

But, I took the girl with the green eyes and she liked it. Made her all gushy gushy. She was all clingy to me all afternoon. Now she's calling my name from upstairs.

On second thought...I loved the film.

I Hope They Win...

So, right now, it's the bottom of the sixth and the Rockies are up six to one thanks to a Holliday HR. I've always been a Rockies fan. "Yeah right" you say, "You're just jumping on the bandwagon."

Au contraire mon frere. My bedroom growing up was purple and black. I had a Colorado Rockies border lining my ceiling. I had hats, t-shirts, jackets, even a gold chain. I slept under purple sheets. PURPLE SHEETS! I may be the only straight man I know whose done so. I even have a picture of me in front of Coors Field when it was about halfway done. Been a fan since they came in the league.

All that being said, you are partly right. I'm more of the fan of the fairweather persuasion. But that's just because baseball is boring. What with all 162 games, who has time to keep up with it all? But the playoffs provide what the regular season is missing, namely meaning. In the playoffs, every game means something. It's why football is so popular. NASCAR tried it this year with the slogan that "Every Lap Counts". But come on, it counts towards one boring obsession with left hand turns and t-shirts without sleeves.

But now, these last few innings mean something. Speaking of which, I gotta go. Games on.

I'm Sick and Tired of It...

I'm done with sports. It's over for me.

You can't watch the NBA because you never know who is throwing the game. You used to think that was a danger only from players owing their bookie too much money. But now, every time I disagree with the ref, it'll cross your mind.

You can't watch baseball. There are so many roided out freaks in that league, the only natural thing left is David Well's man-boobs.

You can't watch the NFL. People recording other people signals. I just hate the Patriots.

And yesterday, the olympics were ruined for me when Marion Jones admitted to using steriods. She gave the same BS about not knowing they were steriods. Come on. You are training to be the best woman ever in track in field (5 gold medals at one olympics) and you aren't going to monitor what you put in your body like a fat kid behind the glass at a pizza place? What was that conversation like?

Trainer: Here, rub this on your muscles.

Jones: What is it? It's not steroids is it?

Trainer: Nope, it's magic lotion.

Jones: Really? I'll give my husband some too!

And her press conference was just awful. You could totally tell she was faking it the entire time. Seriously, I'm not watching one more athlete lead me down an exciting road only to find he was faking it the whole time.

From now on, it's only me and Jesus.

Jesus Manning that is.

Hello. Is There Anybody In There?

So I haven't posted in awhile. No real reason.

I've had the time. I'm off for two days in the middle of the week with no one home and nothing to do. So I can't really blame that.

And I have the fodder. We are starting a new small group. I'm reading a good book right now. I've traveled the across the country recently. The Colts are winning. All in all, there's bound to be some stories somewhere.

Truth is, I haven't really felt like it. Maybe because I'm soooo bored that I just can't motivate myself to do it. Who knows.

Please Touch This...

Well, I'm back from my fishing trip. The fishing didn't get any better, but I was able to play 3 rounds of golf and anytime I can do that in a week, it's a good week. It was great to spend time with my dad, two of his brothers, and my papaw. I wish my brother could've made it, but there's always next year.

One memory I'll always keep was the second day we were there. Dad had mentioned the first day that he wanted to go out with me and papaw at least once. Well, of course we would pick one of the nastiest weather moments to do so. So we put on our rain gear and went out in a torrential downpour. After we got the anchors down and the bait in the water, Papaw looked at me, soaked to the bone and said, "Now THIS is fishing!"

I'll post a couple of pictures when I get home from work in the next couple of days. The lake was beautiful. The leaves had already begun changing. I couldn't believe how red some of them were. Simply beautiful.

I came accross this video and had to post it. Mostly because I used to watch this show. Enjoy.

Life Is Good...

Today is the second day of the fishing trip. Caught only about 2 keepers. Then, after the morning session, Randy, Jeff and I played a mean game of make the hole up as you go putt-putt. Then Dad, Jeff, Papaw and I went out in the wind and the rain and threw the dice again. No luck. But that really wasn't the point anyway. The point is I'm fishing with my dad and my papaw.

Life is good.

Oh, and I'm blogging from my iPhone.

Life is REAL good.

See ya in a week.

What A Game...

I love football. All other sports are a distant second. And I mean distant. There is no other sport on this earth that can turn an almost 28 year-old man into a 8 year old boy. When I'm watching a game I care about, emotions just spring forth and sometimes I have no idea where they came from. I remember vividly when Jerome Bettis fumbled the ball in the Colts playoff game two years ago. We had endzone seats and it happened right in front of us. I began jumping up and down and screaming like a little girl. I didn't care. We had hope. We had a chance.

Had.

Anyway, last night I went to the UNLV/Wisconsin game. For those of you that missed it, you can catch a recap here. But a recap doesn't do it justice. As my friend Matt has previously pointed out, this football teams shows some heart that this desert landscape of a football town hasn't seen in a while. I was at the sold out Sam Boyd stadium to watch this upset. I know, I know, UNLV didn't win, but to say this still wasn't an upset would be an incorrect statement. I know several Wisconsin fans that were upset the entire game until about 1:53 to go in the fourth quarter. It didn't matter that the majority of fans in the stadium were Badgers. UNLV played the best football I've seen in that stadium. UNLV played better than Wisconsin. If it hadn't been for a rookie mistake (Dixon threw the lone turnover under extreme pressure. Should've just taken the sack. He'll get there.) and 1 missed tackle, the game was over. But it doesn't matter. UNLV came on the field against the highest ranked opponent they've ever faced at Sam Boyd and showed what they were made of.

5th in the nation my ass.

So what we lost. We were supposed to lose. By four touchdowns. Who had faith? I did. Which is why I'll be cashing my ticket in today. BOO YA WISCONSIN!!!!!!

I Hope He Wins...

Quiton Jackson is the funniest guy in the UFC. Check out this interview he did with a british mag.

Awesome.

Life Is Good...

Had the draft last night for my fantasy league. Starting line-up, tell me what you think:

QB: Matt Hasselbeck
RB: LaDainian Tomlinson
RB: Clinton Portis
WR: Steve Smith
WR: Lee Evans
WR: Darrell Jackson
TE: Chris Cooley
K: Robbie Gould
D/ST: Dolphins

To Add Insult To Injury...

...Here is a clip of Miss Teen South Carolina's parents while she was giving her response. I can see where she gets it.



Ahhh...getting joy at another's expense. It's the U.S. American way.

Just When You Think...

...Apple is done, they do it again.

The Departed...

I'm watching it right now. There is a scene when Matt Damon is having dinner with his soon-to-be girlfriend. She's a shrink that works for the police department counseling guys who have killed people and can't deal with it. He asks her why she does it. I thought her response was interesting.

"Because sometimes they get better."

Kinda makes you think.

Because There Are Much More Clever People Than Me Like Such As...

Must Be From South Carolina...

Really? Did you think your arm was tougher than science? That car has to weigh about a thousand pounds. A THOUSAND POUNDS!

I love the headband too. As if this moronic stunt was something to get pumped up for. Yeah, roll a car over your arm with no protection, but make sure you keep the sweat out of your eyes!

In the words of the idiot, "That was bad."

What Did She Say?

It would be really easy to quote the moderator from Billy Madison here. REALLY EASY. But I figured to really make you laugh I'd have to come up with something really clever. So...

"Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."

Dang it! I tried, I really tried, but sometimes easy is best! Did she even try? Did she even hear the question? Let me break down her response so we can take a closer look at her intelligence level:

"I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because uh some people out there in our nation don't have maps and I believe that our education lacks such as South Africa and the Iraq everywhere like such as and I believe that they should our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S. or should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the asian countries so we will be able to build up our future for our..."

Thank God the host was there to put an end to that torture. I didn't even know that Iraq now got an article before it's name. The Iraq. Not to be confused those pretenders to the north. This is THE Iraq.

I'm pretty sure she was one of the fifth of Americans who couldn't find the U.S. on a world map. I'm pretty sure she couldn't identify earth in our solar system. I'm pretty sure she doesn't even know what a solar system is. I'm actually kinda surprised she didn't try to eat the foam off the microphone.

I think we should've asked her a different question,

"Miss Teen South Carolina, Do I to know want will we look like when we go to Hollowa?"

Football Quotes...

My father-in-law sent me this list of football quotes and, being this time of year, I thought I would share with my faithful readers. So, Bill, Betsy, Mom and Dad, enjoy:

Now that football season is upon us, it's a good time to get in the mood by reading these quotations from well known football personalities!



"At Georgia Southern, we don't cheat. That costs money and we don't
have any." Erk Russell / Georgia Southern.

"Football is only a game. Spiritual things are eternal. Nevertheless, Beat Texas." Seen on a church sign in Arkansas prior to the 1969 game.

"After you retire, there's only one big event left....and I ain't ready for that." Bobby Bowden / Florida State

"The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely to
be the one who dropped it." Lou Holtz

"When you win, nothing hurts." Joe Namath / Alabama

"Motivation is simple. You eliminate those who are not motivated."
Lou Holtz

"A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a
medieval study hall." Frank Leahy / Notre Dame

"There's nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell
kicked out of you." Woody Hayes / Ohio State

"I don't expect to win enough games to be put on NCAA probation. I just want to win enough to warrant an investigation." Bob Devaney /
Nebraska

"You can learn more character on the two-yard line than anywhere
else in life." Paul Dietzel / LSU

"It's kind of hard to rally around a math class." Bear Bryant / Alabama

"No, but you can see it from here." Lou Holtz / Arkansas...
When asked if Fayetteville was the end of the world.

"I make my practices real hard because if a player is a quitter, I
want him to quit in practice, not in a game." Bear Bryant / Alabama

"There's one sure way to stop us from scoring - give us the ball near
the goal line." MattyBell / SMU

"Lads, you're not to miss practice unless your parents died or you
died." ; Frank Leahy / Notre Dame

"I never graduated from Iowa, but I was only there for two terms -
Truman's and Eisenhower's." Alex Karras / Iowa

"My advice to defensive players: Take the shortest route to the ball
and arrive in a bad humor." Bowden Wyatt / Tennessee

"I could have been a Rhodes Scholar, except for my grades." Duffy
Daugherty / MichiganState

"Always remember..... Goliath was a 40 point favorite over David."
Shug Jordan / Auburn

"They cut us up like boarding house pie. And that's real small pieces." Darrell Royal /Texas

"Show me a good and gracious loser, and I'll show you a failure."
Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

"They whipped us like a tied up goat." Spike Dykes / Texas Tech

"I asked Darrell Royal, the coach of the Texas Longhorns, why he
didn't recruit me and he said: "Well, Walt, we took a look at you
and you weren't any good." Walt Garrison /Oklahoma State

"Son, you've got a good engine, but your hands aren't on the
steering wheel." Bobby Bowden / Florida State

"Football is not a contact sport-it is a collision sport. Dancing is
a contact sport." Duffy Daugherty / Michigan State

After USC lost 51-0 to Notre Dame, his post game message to his
team: "All those who need showers, take them." John McKay / USC

"If lessons are learned in defeat, our team is getting a great
education." Murray Warmath / Minnesota

"The only qualifications for a lineman are to be big and dumb. To be
a back, you only have to be dumb." Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

"Oh, we played about like three tons of buzzard puke this afternoon."
Spike Dykes /Texas Tech

"It isn't necessary to see a good tackle. You can hear it." Knute
Rockne / Notre Dame

"We didn't t ackle well today but we made up for it by not blocking."
John McKay / USC

"Three things can happen when you throw the ball, and two of them
are bad." Darrell Royal / University of Texas

"I've found that prayers work best when you have big players."
Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

"Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy than to fumble
this football." John Heisman

Soooooooo.....

What should Mr. Goodell do?

On one hand, I can see a lifetime ban. Vick lied to everyone. He lied straight to the commish's face. Not to mention the atrocities committed againt the animals. But let's be honest. Warren Moon did some pretty bad stuff to his wife, and we let him play. Pacman Jones shot a guy, paralyzing him for life and he only got a year ban. What's the difference?

On the other hand, why put up with it? Vick lied to everyone. What is the advantage of letting him play? We get to see a tremendous athlete? There are so many out there, I don't think we'll miss this one. Plus, if you have ever owned or loved an animal, there is an evil beyond a momment of human anger that it takes to take advantage of them.

What says you?

Ten:10 Ministries...

One of my favorite verses is John 10:10 (thanks Josh). I like it so much that when I was in ministry, we named our youth programs after it. TEN:10 Ministries. Whenever anyone asked what that meant, I usually only quoted the second part of that verse (I have come to give you life and life to the full).

Yesterday I was in a small group leader training class at church. The teacher asked us to turn to John 10:12-13. His point was simply that we ought to have a vested interest in the lives of the people in our small groups so that we don't treat them as a hired hand would. I started thinking of this verse in the context of all that Jesus was saying.

Thieves steal, kill and destroy us. Jesus is life. He gives us this life by laying down his own life for his sheep, for those that recognize his voice and follow him. What a comforting thought.

He says that he knows his own sheep, yet willingly lays down his life. He knows the life I live apart from him, when I am stolen from, killed and utterly destroyed. So He lays down his life so that I can have, as he calls it, greener pastures. So that I can experience a life free of vandelism and death.

I often forget that the ultimate purpose in a relationship with Jesus isn't heaven. It isn't even salvation. It's Jesus. That when we accept the gift he's given us, what we recieve is much more than a ticket to eternal life. It is The Eternal Life himself. We get God. How amazing is that?

The Squirrel Flip...This Could Be Bad...

Squirrel Flip - performed on a high wire just a few feet off the ground. Enjoy.



(and you thought it was going to end up bad! Shame on you!)

And You Think Your Problems Are Big...

My friend Bob sent this to me in an email. I thought it was pretty interesting so I decided to share it. Makes me feel pretty small...

The Backstory of an Understatement...

Demetrius couldn't believe his luck. He had put in his time and finally it had paid off. His mentor had just invited him over to his house for dinner. Now, Demetrius had been to his teacher's house for dinner many times. But this time was different. His mentor, Simeon, had invited Jesus to his house. Demetrius had tried to see Jesus on several occasions, but each time the crowd had been too great. Plus, he had to be careful. If the wrong person associated him with Jesus, it could mean bad things for his career at the synagogue. He figured he'd be safe here, since Simeon was a high ranking official in the synagogue.

When he crossed the street he found a familiar scene. People pushing and shoving, even bartering, just trying to get inside. A small crowd was gathered around a man who they say had just been healed by Jesus. Demetrius furrowed his brow.

"I thought this Jesus guy was supposed to be religious. Doesn't he know you can't work on the sabbath?" Demetrius thought.

Demetrius shoved his way to the door and shouted for Simeon.

"Simeon, I'm here, let me in!" he shouted.

Simeon heard his name. He had been busy making sure the food was going to be ready, that he hadn't even paid attention to his guests. He looked and saw Demetrius at the door.

"Let Demetrius in." he told his attendants.

Simeon was glad to see Demetrius. "Go and see to my guests. There is a problem in the kitchen that is requiring my attention right now."

Demetrius tried to quiet the crowd. "Settle down and have a seat. The food will be ready soon."

But it was no use. People were shouting and pushing. A small argument had erupted at the head of the table over who was going to sit next to Jesus. Demetrius felt confident that he deserved the spot since Simeon was his mentor and had specifically invited him. Plus, he really wanted to ask Jesus some questions to see about his legitimacy. He began shoving his way forward. He even got a little more physical than he thought he could. But no matter what he tried, there seemed to be someone a little stronger than him in front.

He felt a hand on his shoulder. A rabbi he didn't recognize pulled him aside and gave him this advice:

"Sometimes it's better not to be at the head. What if you sat right next to Simeon and then Simeon's mentor walked through the door? Where will you sit then? Instead, head down to the foot of the table. Then, when Simeon's done in the kitchen and sees the foolishness at the head of the table, he'll ask what you are doing all the way at the end. Then you'll be honored among his guests."

Just then Simeon came into the room and it immediately settled down. The Rabbi Demetrius didn't recognized walked up to him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. He then turned to the crowd and said:

"The next time you have a dinner, don't invite each other. If you do, you'll only receive an invite to the next dinner party. Instead, invite those who can't afford a dinner, who can't work for food, those who can not pay you back. Then, your reward will be at the resurrection, in the Kingdom of God. And you will be at the head of the table."

Immediately Demetrius realized who the rabbi was. He understood his advice was much more than a way to the to the head of the table. He had given him a lesson on life. Demetrius took his place near the end of the table and shouted, "What a privilege it would be to have a share in the Kingdom of God."

Luke 14:7-15

Breaking News Story...

Video Mockery Of Bonds?....Brilliant!

The Bourne Awesomeness...

I went to see The Bourne Ultimatum yesterday. What a great movie. Action from beginning to end. No sex scenes (go ahead Bill, make your obvious joke here). No over the top language. Just straight up awesomeness.

***Quasi Spoiler Alert***

I absolutely loved the way they brought the conversation between Bourne and Landy from the second movie into play. I thought that was pure genious. Whether they intended to do that from the beginning or came up with that sometime between the end of the second and the start of the third, I thought it was absolutely amazing.

If Hollywood would put out more movies like this, where the action is believable, the acting is fantastic (Scott Glenn as CIA chief!!!), and the story is engaging, they'd be making money hand over fist! Oh wait....

What do you know? Mom WAS right...

When I was a wee little lad, I wanted a bee bee gun. Of course, my mom pulled the christmas story line of "You'll shoot your eye out." Well, I got one anyway. Then, I really wanted a skateboard. My mom tried the "You'll end up falling from 50 feet in the air in a big competition" line and got me rollerblades instead. Well, rollerbladeing led to street hockey games which have continued to this day. I wonder what happened to all the kids that got skateboards instead...

What Kind Of Golf Ball Is That?

What. A. Moron.

And You Thought Boise State Was Tricky...

That video cracks me up. I would like to give special props to the quarterback who so convincingly walked to the sidelines with much patience. I would also like to give the coveted "Decidingly Ingeniously Conceived Koverup Handoff End-around Absolute Design" of the year award to the coach, who not only decided that playing football like a coward was a good idea to teach 10 year olds, but so convincingly contributed to the play with his witty sideline banter. Parents of the year awards to all the parents who cheered this play on and also for their participation in the after game scuffle between the rival parents. That's about all the awards I can think of...

Unless you want to give me blogger of the year for posting this?

A Whole New World...

Have you ever been excited about something but had a feeling in the back of your mind that it probably wasn't going to work out? For instance, a conversation with Bill Wolf about six months ago got me so excited about taking a trip to Europe. We went to a travel agent, saved up a couple grand, I even called my old French teacher (who has been to Paris several times) to get suggestions on travel and specific places to visit. But in the back of my mind, I always knew something would come up and we wouldn't be able to go.

About 8 months ago, I started the process of getting my real estate license. I signed up for school. I went to school every night for a month. Studied my butt off. Passed the tests. Then it was time to get a job. I called the sales manager of my company and told him I wanted to work for him. It took about four months of calling and interviews and paperwork, but finally, about a month ago, they offered me the job. Even still, after all this, I still thought something would come up.

Yesterday, my license came in the mail. It's official. I am licensed in the state of Nevada to sell real estate.

That reminds me of a verse. Proverbs 16:9:

"In his heart a man plans his course,
but the LORD determines his steps."

I take comfort in the fact that God is in control. That we can think we have everything figured out, but our only real decision is if we are going to be faithful to his plans or not. I've layed out my plans right now. I'm pretty sure if God will just listen to me, that I have it all figured out. But, of course, we know that isn't true. So, I wait on God, and follow where he leads.

As long as it makes me rich.

Just kidding.

It's A Funny Thing...

So I haven't posted in a while. Sorry bout that. To say I've been a little busy would be an understatement. I'm not sure there was a night last week I went to bed before 11:00. Now, before all you night owls start saying that's early to be going to bed, I reply, you wake up at five every morning for three years and see what time you start heading to bed. All of the sudden, 9:00 is pretty late.

Anywho, this weekend was good. I was able to catch up on some much needed sleep. I shot a 44 on the back nine of golf on Saturday (I won't say what I shot on the front nine, but let's just say it was higher than than 44). Plus, Candice's aunt and uncle and cousin were in from California. We always have a great time when they come into town. We made up some pool (as in billiards, not swimming) game where the person who won the last round got to add a rule to the next round. After about three or four rounds of this, it got quite confusing, but it was fun none the less.

I wanted to share two stories about my sister in law from dinner last night. We went to a japenese place. I had some crab legs and started making gestures toward my sister in law with the little pincher, effectively grossing her out (which, of course, was my goal). She said, "Ewww, gross." and I said, "yeah, I know. Poor little Sebastian." To which she replied, "No, Sebastian was a crab."

Next story. This one I wasn't present for, but it's so good, I just have to share.

(Preface: Kevin is my sister in law's ...um...friend who isn't female)

Setting: Las Vegas Strip. 2:00 a.m.

Stefanie: "Look, there's a blind guy."

Kevin: "Yeah."

Stefanie: "But how does he get around at night?"

Draw curtain.

To The Hills Of Tennessee...

So I promised some stories from my trip to Tennessee and since I am a man of my word, here you go.

As I blogged before, my dad asked me to preach for him on the Sunday morning we were there. I had forgotten (and he had conveniently not reminded me) that they were now doing two services. One in the early morning for the old folks (traditional) and one in the later morning for the youngins (contemporary). Sunday morning we arrive at the church and I walk in the doors hearing the music to "God Bless The U.S.A." I kinda laughed and just assumed that they were testing the sound system or something. Once service started, I quickly learned that "G.B.T.U.S.A." was being used as the call to worship. I'll admit I snickered a few times when on the chorus a couple of people actually stood up (I guess to defend her?...). I found this a little strange but then I remembered it was July 4th week and the song does say "God" in it, so whatever. Well, I look at my little program thingy and notice the hymns we would be singing. I believe they were as follows:

"My Country 'tis Of Thee"
"God Bless America"
"America The Beautiful"

Now, (and Mom and Dad, I know you'll read this, so don't be offended) I'm all about America. One of my regrets of youth was not signing up for the service out of high school. I think it would've done me a lot of good and I regret not serving my country. I would gladly stand up next to you anytime. But, I was a bit bothered singing to my country at church. I even stopped and just listened for the most part. I know what we are saying. That we are sincerely grateful for a country that allows us to sing to whoever we want to sing to. But I'll be thankful while singing to Jesus, not purple mountain majesties thank you very much.

So then, on Independence Eve, we went to a baseball game. Knoxville Smokies verses the Mississippi Braves of the AA minor league system. Pretty good game. Guy smashes a home run the first two times at bat. Pretty exciting. But the real fireworks came after the game when they shot...well, fireworks. They were launching these enormous explosions all set to patriotic music. But the one that really got me was when John Wayne's voice comes over the loudspeakers quoting the "Pledge of Allegiance."

All of the sudden it hit me like a lump in the throat. I live in the greatest country in the world. So what if we sang to America at church. In a lot of countries in the world, that would've been a requirement at church EVERY WEEK! So here I am sitting at a baseball game, eating a hot dog and salted peanuts, watching fireworks, listening to John Wayne recite "One Nation under God." The only way I could've felt more patriotic is if I'd remembered my stars and stripes thong.

Single tear.

God Bless the U.S.A. indeed. Thank you Lee Greenwood, thank you.

(BTW, the single greatest moment at the ballgame was when the Smokies were losing by about 47 runs and they were down to their last six outs. Question, how do you get 6,000 Tennesseans on their feet in an instant? Tell them there is a sale on NASCAR souvenirs at Walmart? Tell them you just saw a 30 point buck in the woods behind the stadium? Nope. Rocky Top Tennessee baby. Rocky Top Tennessee.)

But It's Still Funny...

I know what you're thinking. This is someone's grandma. This lady bakes cookies and pancakes for her grandchildren. She prolly has a pocketbook too. That's what my grandma used to say. "Go get my poketbook." And then she would give me fifty cents. Cause back in those days, fifty cents could get you a soda pop. Those good ol' days.

Anyway, like I said, I know what you're thinking. But it's still funny.



If you look closely, the person in front of grandma ducks. What? Are you too good to take one for grandma? Ungrateful jerk. She made cookies for you!

It's Not Writer's Block...

So I know I haven't written anything in a while. We had a great trip to Tennessee. Got to see a lot of family and friends and had a great view from our cabin in the smokies. It's always good to see my family as I don't get to see them too much being that I live a million miles away and they are allergic to flying.

I have a couple of good stories to share, but I'm going to try to work on them a bit to make them worth your while. Till then...

Sweet Home...Tennessee?

Home.

It conveys so much into such a little word. Four little letters, but it conjures giant memories.

I grew up in Kokomo, IN. I didn't move away till I went to college, but even then I went home whenever I could. Then, when I was 20, I moved to Las Vegas. About six months later, my parents moved to Knoxvegas, TN.

So now, when I go see my parents, I'm not really going home, in the true sense of the word. Yet it feels like home. When people ask, I say I'm going home.

I think because home isn't a house. Home isn't even a city. Home is a feeling, a state of being.

Next week, I'm going home to see my family. There will be a family reunion with lots of cousins and aunts and uncles and people that I'm supposed to know but frankly have absolutely no idea who they are. There will be lots of food and I will probably eat as much of it as I can. Because that's what you do when you go home.

Where is home to you?

Keep Warm and Well Fed...

"You got a dollar?"

I smelled her before I heard her. I ignored her even though I know she was talking to me.

"Jake, you got a dollar for a hamburger?"

"Dang these work name badges!"

I looked up at the wrinkly old woman. I'm not quite sure how she was going to eat the hamburger with her two remaining teeth, but by this point, it was pretty difficult to pretend she was talking to anyone else but me.

I had a decision to make. I had about fourteen cents in my pocket and a Lincoln in my wallet. No Washingtons. If I pulled out my wallet I had no choice but to give her the five. I'm pretty sure she wasn't going to make change either. Maybe because she wasn't wearing one of those change machines the skating waitresses at Sonic wear. Maybe because she was wearing something of a Goodwill special. Or maybe because she smelled. In any case, I knew if good ol' Abe left the wallet, that was the last I was going to see of him.

I was tempted to give her the fourteen cents. I mean, there were plenty of other people in the lobby of Micky D's. If everyone gave her fourteen cents, she could supersize her meal and probably have enough for a sundae.

A couple of years ago I was at a ski retreat that Josh Finklea spoke at. I remember him teaching on loving the unloveable. Especially when they ask for money.

"They might use it to buy drugs or alcohol," one student argued.

"Really?" Josh replied. "And what were you going to use it for? Going to the movies? Getting the latest CD?" (Like I said, this was few years back, before itunes and their wonderfully addictive downloads.)

His point was, we waste so much money on ourselves, and sometimes in sinful ways, that the "they might spend it on booze" arguement doesn't really hold a lot of water. Since then, my defenses have always been broken. I've yet to come up with better reasoning as why I deserve my money more than someone in need.

Plus, being that we were already in McDonald's (insert copyright sign) I was pretty sure they didn't sell beer. So out came the five. Her eyes lit up.

"Wow! Thanks Jake."

As I sat in my chair finishing my double cheeseburger (still the best deal in fast food) I thought, "How can I get out of here before she comes back and sits down next to me?" But, of course, I still had one more double cheeseburger and a grilled honey mustard snack wrap (because the fried one would be too fatty, and I am the epitome of health). So I braced myself for what I knew was coming.

"You live around here Jake?"

"No."

"Where do you live?" She asks.

"Southwest part of the valley." (Sigh, here it comes...)

And there it went. I asked her where she lived. She said downtown. Here and there. I knew what she meant. I knew before she said it. I have to be honest, I don't know how to act in these situations. I gave her money. I act interested in her life. I say things like, "you know, if you wouldn't gamble all your money away, you might have enough to buy a cheeseburger."

Helen. Her name was Helen. She has a son that is an EMT in LA. She hasn't spoken to him in a couple of years. She is unemployed and receives a small social security check.

The more I study the scriptures the more I feel that these are the people Christ cares the most about. The reason He came to this world. The captive. The blind. The downtrodden.

And I feel so inadequate. I feel like the person James writes about when he says:

"Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead." (James 2:15-17)

So is it my responsibility to feed and clothe every homeless person in Las Vegas? Nevada? America? The World?

Yes. Yes, I think it is.

I'm The Greatest...(not me, Bob Barker)

Classic.

163%...

The other day I went over to my friend matt's house and he revealed possible the greatest news I've heard in the last couple of months. ESPN Classic is now showing old re-runs of American Gladiators!

Man, when I was growing up, I wanted to be just like Nitro. Down to the mullet and everything. In the history of American Gladiators though, one contestant stood out above all the rest. Wesley "Two Scoops" Berry. He was THE MAN! I searched on Youtube to find a clip of this true american gladiator. Unfortunately, the only clip I could find was of his stint on "International Gladiators." Regardless, this is a perfect example of why he was the greatest contestant of all time. Enjoy.

Best. Sine. Ever.

Ideas?...

Over on Greg's site he asked for suggestions to help him write a new album. I'm in need of some suggestions but of a different kind.

At the end of this month I'm going back to good ol' Rocky Top to visit my family and go to my first Walker Family Reunion in about ten years. Last week my Dad called me and asked if I wanted to preach for him that sunday. I don't get a chance to preach very often so I jumped at the chance. This weekend I sat down to work on my sermon and I realized, I have no idea what to preach on! So, I thought it would be fun to open it up to suggestions.

What do you think I should preach on?

Measure In Love

125884800 seconds.

2098080 minutes.

34968 hours.

1457 days.

208 weeks.

4 years.

Four years ago today I stood at an altar in front of my father and watched as the most beautiful girl walked down towards me.

The girl with the green eyes.

There is a song in the musical "RENT" (and, subsequently, in the movie), that talks about how to measure time spent together:

five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes, five hundred twenty five thousand moments so dear, five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes, how do you measure? measure a year

in daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee, in inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife

in five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes, how do you measure a year in a life?

how about love? how about love? how about love?
measure in love...
seasons of love...
seasons of love...

125,884,800 seconds.

And not a single one I'd take back.

I love you Candice.

Bring Me To Life...

I drive about 30 minutes everyday to and from work. Most of the time, I like to listen to podcasts on my ipod. Especially sermons because they are usually around 30-35 minutes so it almost works out perfect. I listened to a sermon this morning by Mark Driscoll that was really, really good.

Like jelly on your biscuits and gravy good.

Here is a quote I wanted to share:

"The goal of religion isn't to recieve from God, but to receive God."

I really like that thought. I have several friends who are struggling right now. A couple of them are Christians. A couple of them aren't. And in each situation, from the outside, I can look and see that it is going to take Jesus to fix it. One's an addict dealing with a crack addiction. One is going through the roughest situation outside unfaithfulness I have ever heard of in a marriage. When I see this, I can only believe that Jesus is the answer. I know that sounds trite and cute, but I have tried to answer these things on my own before, and I know the results then.

So what can we do? Trust in Jesus. And when that's not enough? We pray to Jesus. And when nothing happens? We live for Jesus.

My friend Bill has a saying that changed the way I look at my relationship with God. He said, "It's not about God trying to change us from bad to good, but bringing us from death to life."

I can't change the way people live their lives. But maybe I can change the way they view God. Then maybe, just maybe, they will let God give them life.

You Know You're From Indiana When...

I saw this on someone's Myspace (Thanks Kelli!) and thought it was pretty funny. I've taken the liberty to edit a few things. Because I wanted to. Because this is my blog and I can do whatever I want.

You know you're from Indiana when...
* You think the State Bird is Larry.
* You don't know what a "Pacer" is and have never even wondered.
* You know that "Mellencamp" went to "Cougar" and back to "Mellencamp." (And you're proud you've been to Seymour!)
* You can say "French Lick" without laughing out loud.
* There's actually a college near you named "Ball State."
* The last "g" is silent in any word ending in "ing."
* You know several people who have hit a deer.
* You've never met any celebrities.
* You've seen all the biggest bands 10 years after they were popular.
* Down south to you means Kentucky.
* You have no problem spelling or pronouncing "Terre Haute."
* Your school was canceled because of cold.
* Your school was canceled because of heat.
* You know what the phrase "Knee-high by the Fourth of July" means.
* You've play Euchre.
* You've seen a running car, with nobody in it, in the parking lot of the grocery store, no matter what time of year it is.
* You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: "Where's my coat at?"
* Detassling was your first job. Bailing hay, your second. Or you could stack hay, swim in the pond to clean off, and then have the strength to play a couple of games of hoops, all in the same barn lot on the same day.
* You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
* You say things like "catty-wumpus" and "kitty-corner."
* You install security lights on your house and garage, then leave both of them unlocked.
* You carry jumper cables in your car regularly.
* You drink "Coke."
* You know that strangers are the only ones who come to your front door.
* Kids and dogs ride in the passenger seats of cars and the backs of pickups.
* You think nothing of it in spring and fall to be stuck behind a farm implement driving on the roads.
* High school basketball game draws a bigger crowd on the weekend than movie theaters, IF you have movie theaters.
* Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
* The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page, but requires six for local sports.
* You can see at least two basketball hoops from your yard.
* You can name every one of Bob Knight's "exploits" over the last few years.
* You shop at Marsh.
* Damon Bailey was your childhood hero.
* The biggest question of your youth was "IU or Purdue."
* Indianapolis was the "big city."
* The Wabash river was the biggest body of water near your house.
* You know several different definitions as to what a Hoosier really is.
* People at your high school chewed tobacco.
* Everyone knows who the town cop is, where he lives, and whether he is at home or on duty.
* To get to school you had to drive on a gravel road, a road with several right-angle turns in it, or if you were really lucky, over a covered bridge.
* You actually know what the CART vs IRL debate is about and have taken a side.
* The vehicle of choice in your area is not a car, but a pickup.
* You are a BIG John Mellencamp fan. (But really, who isn't?)
* You've been to the Covered Bridge Festival.
* You took back roads to get there. "Why sit in traffic"?
* To you, tenderloin is not an expensive cut of beef, but a big, salty, breaded piece of pork served on a bun with pickles.

I Tried...

to post this a couple days ago, but it didn't work. Here it is in all it's midget glory.

If You Liked Spiderman 3...

Then you probably won't like this.

You Can't Make This Stuff Up...

Funniest. Article. Ever.

And Now For Something Completely The Same...

You Belong in Amsterdam

A little old fashioned, a little modern - you're the best of both worlds. And so is Amsterdam. Whether you want to be a squatter graffiti artist or a great novelist, Amsterdam has all that you want in Europe (in one small city).

What European City Do You Belong In?

Thanks to Dustin for the link.

Two Post Tuesday...

This one is too good to pass up!

Watch every episode of Saved By The Bell here.

Fantastic!

The MTV Movie Awards Sucked...

I know I'm a couple of days late to the party, but come on! Mtv's awards shows have really gone down the tube lately. Sarah Silverman did an okay job as a host, but some of her comments even made me uncomfortable.

And I club baby seals!

Well, I don't actually, but I do think I could come up with some better catagories then "Best Summer Movie You Haven't Seen Yet." How much did Michael Bay have to pay for that one? That is the lamest award I have ever seen. Before the show, it should've recieved the "Lamest Awards Show Award Not Given Out Yet"

Now that would've been good television.

Because....Just Because

Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego...

So, not technically the world, but if she's not in America, I'm not looking for her. This is every state I've been to. Have you been to them all?



create your own personalized map of the USA
or check out ourCalifornia travel guide

Food for Porn...

Here is an interesting article from Craig Gross over at xxx church. It'll take a second and read the comments too, but check it out and then come back...

What do you guys think? Is it all a clever marketing ploy? What exactly does it mean to be in the world but not of it? Does this cross the line (Hooters, Porn Shows, Club appearences, etc)? Or is this exactly where Jesus would be?

My dad has a quote under the glass top of his desk that goes something like this:

"Some try to save people from the safety of the pew or the church bell. I want to run a rescue shop within a yard of hell"

They certainly have done some things that have made me wonder about "the line" but on the other hand, for a lot of men, they might be the last stop between a life with Christ and a life of despair.

What do you think?

Where Was I...

I'm usually up on the viral video scene. Most of my day is spent surfing the net, so I have time to check out my favorite sites and get the best of the best. Every now and again, I'll post something that's worthy. Well, apparently this has been out for a pretty long time, but this weekend was the first time I'd ever seen it. My buddy Aarron showed this to me on Sunday night and I thought it was hilarious. I hope you enjoy...Charlie the Unicorn.

Reality in Pearl Harbor...

May 23, 2007. A day which will live in infamy.

No, not because I went to the dentist for the first time in 10 years, though this is true (well, I did have my wisdom teeth removed about three years ago, but that was by an oral surgeon, not a dentist, but this was the first cleaning in 10 years). That is a horrifying experience in and of itself as the hygenist scrapes 10 years of plaque (isn't that a gross word?) and bacteria off my teeth and gums. But that's not why.

No, not because the dentist found 7 cavaties, which are the first of any I have ever had in my entire existence. Though yesterday before 8 was the last time I could honestly say (even though it was in ignorance) that I had never had any cavaties in my 27 year existence. But, low and behold, the good doc found seven of them bugars in my pearly yellows. For reasons I'm not surprised, see above.

No, not because I had my second interview in as many weeks and am 99% sure I am going to get the position, though that is true as of yesterday as well.

No, the reason yesterday will always be a momentous day in the history of Jake Keck is because of my entrance to reality and adulthood. You see, as I've mentioned before, I've always had a secret desire to be a rock star...or not so secret. This wasn't born of my awesome singing talent or my natural ability to rock the mic (which makes sense because I posses none of those). No, despite my lack of natural ability, I was still born with the gift of desiring to be worshipped by millions of adorable fans.

I mean adoring fans.........either way I guess.

Though this amazing gift was bestowed upon me, it somehow hasn't come to fruition. I tried my best. Got a tatoo. Had my tongue pierced. And my body has always been an object to be worshipped (wait....I mean my brother's body...)

I was even in a band.

But alas, as I lay in the death, er I mean, dentist chair, waiting to be examined, I had this thought:

"You know, I haven't been to the dentist in 10 years. And I've never been to this one. I don't want to hear about how bad for my teeth my tongue piercing is. Plus, I don't want it to screw up the x-rays. I'll take it out.

But if I take it out for that, I might as well leave it out for my interview. I want to make sure nothing holds me back and allows him to have a reason to not give me the job.

Oh man...should I just leave it out for good? How will anyone ever know I was supposed to be a rock star? Maybe that will never happ..."

And that's when reality set in. I reached inside my mouth and removed the shiny little post.

Single tear.

The Power Hour...

During my lunches lately, I've been reading through Jeremiah. There was no particular reason I picked Jeremiah except for the "fire in my bones" line. That's a good one.

What a depressing book! It's all about how horrible and awful God's people were. He compares them to prostitutes, old rags, donkeys, mother deer who abandon their young, and much more. Apparently, they weren't doing a whole lot right. So God picks this young man, Jeremiah, to speak to them. Everywhere he goes, all he gets is resistance. All his efforts are futile. He's real discouraged and a little scared, and then God says this to him,

“If you return to me, I will restore you
so you can continue to serve me.
If you speak good words rather than worthless ones,
you will be my spokesman.
You must influence them;
do not let them influence you!
They will fight against you like an attacking army,
but I will make you as secure as a fortified wall of bronze.
They will not conquer you,
for I am with you to protect and rescue you.
I, the Lord, have spoken!"
(Jeremiah 15:19,20 NLT)
First of all, I like how God ends his communication. It's a little more powerful then, "Seacrest out!" The NIV starts with, "If you repent..." Now, Jeremiah wasn't necessarily doing anything wrong, but God was always wanting to draw his people to himself. This must always begin with humbly confessing what it is that draws us away.

He encourages Jeremiah to influence the culture without letting the culture influence him. For 5000 years that has been the cry of God. In the world but not of it. Redeeming culture through our participation in it, not our abstintion.

I'm not the greatest theologian, and sometimes when I read my Bible, it's more like quantity instead of quality. But today, I couldn't get away from this verse. I'm not sure why, maybe because it scared me.

Dear God, may our words be useful and not worthless.

Amen.

It Appears...

...that Lehrer's Flowers and I have the exact same goal!

Remember When...

...Dan Mejerle used to do this for you on NBA Jam? It's fantastic.

I Can't Wait...

...for Conan to replace Jay. Then there will be nothing stopping Conan from taking over the world...or, at least the 11:35-12:30 time slot.

Weekday Update...

It's been awhile since I wrote a blog with any sustenance, but this isn't going to be one of those. I just felt like it was time to give an update on my life:

Had an interview yesterday with the VP of Sales for my company. I'm trying to get a job as a New Home Consultant. Basically it's the real estate agent that works on behalf of my company with the home buyers. It'd be a pretty good pay jump which would justify the schedule change. They work either Thursday through Monday or Saturday through Wednesay. That'd be a bit of a change and Candice and I would have to figure out how to see each other. But it's the way I want my career to head, so you gots to do what you gots to do.

Thursday and Friday of this week our big boss is coming to town. Everybody is on high alert. I try not to let these things bother me to much. I figure I'll do what I've always done because it's always been my best anyway. But my bosses are driving me crazy!!!!!!!!!!

Hope your weeks are going better than mine.

Did Anyone Else...

...puke after seeing this? Not so much for the crap movie that it was, but for the crap money they took from my wallet. Apparently, when you make a good movie you get to follow it up with two crappy sequals. If you thought it was good, well, you were wrong. It wasn't. It just wasn't.

The hype was amazing. I mean, just look at that movie poster. That looks like it could be incredible. When will a movie live up to it's hype?

Oh wait, I know, when they make it awesome and call it 300.

The Most Extreme Hockey Fight In Ages...

I'm not sure how this happened and I didn't see it....oh wait, that's right. It's the NHL.



Awesome.

It's not The Office...

...but it's still pretty stinking funny.

Heard a quote...

...by a famous preacher. It goes something like this:

"If your sin is small, your savior is small. But if your sin is large, your Savior is large."

Agree or disagree? Discuss...

The Matrix Reloaded...

There are four men in my life. Each has his own role. Three of them are awful, one of them is good, and only two of them are real.

The first man in my life is the me I want you to see. This is who you know me as. This is the me that cares about others. This is the me that reads his Bible at Starbucks. This is the dedicated employee me. This is the blogger me. I repent and confess only of those sins I am okay with you knowing I do.

The second man is the Jesus I believe in. This is the Jesus that allows me to explain away greed as taking care of my family. This is the Jesus the prompts us to manifest destiny. This is the Jesus most of us pray to. This Jesus wants us to be healthy, wealthy, and wise. This Jesus just wants me to be comfortable in life.

The third man is the darkest man. This is the real me. The one who sins, though it's not just my sinful nature. This is the me that wants to sit on the couch all day. This is the me that slacks off as much as he can at work, yet makes himself look as good as he can. This is the me that is racist. This is the me that is scared. This is the me that worships. More often then not, I spend more of the real me's time trying to hide my sin then I do trying not to do it. No one really knows the real me. Sometimes not even myself.

The fourth man is Jesus. I don't know a lot about this man really. I read about him, but most of the time, my pre-conceived ideas only allow me to hear what I want to hear. So I only get to know the parts of Jesus that I want to know. This Jesus is very mysterious. He says things like, "Those that aren't for us are against us" and, "Those that aren't against us are for us." But He is the Savior of my soul.

The bible tells us in second Peter to grow in the grace and knowlege of Jesus. I had a prof in college tell me this meant to become more like Jesus and to know more about Jesus. The problem with this is it takes the two real men in my life.

To really grow to be more like Jesus calls the real me into action. The fake me will try to make you think I am growing by reading the bible in public. By blogging about things such as this. By praying long and lengthy prayers. But it takes the real me to wake up and do this.

To get to know Jesus I have to be okay with learning something I didn't know. Most of the time that's a really scary thing. Think about a subject you feel like you know a lot about. Maybe it's math or football or beauty pagents. Go ahead, think of one. Now pretend there is a law or a rule or some requirement that you had no idea existed.

Did you know that Jesus only talked about Judgement Day once? I know He mentioned His second coming and signs of the times and all that, but about the activities on that day He only spoke once. He said He's going to put us into two groups. One on His right and one on His left. The group on His right, He will thank for taking care of Him on this earth and welcome them to heaven. The group on His left, He will curse and send to hell. They will ask, "Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?" And He will say, "You didn't recognize me? You didn't see the real me in everyone else?"

It will be the real me that stands before the real Jesus. May they both become more known to me.

I Have Crossed Over...

Or maybe I was always on this side to begin with. Either way, I now know firmly where I stand.

When I was in grade school, I didn't even realize there was a separation. I lived within the tension of the two sides and didn't even notice the difference. I played trumpet in band and was on the basketball team. I was in Art Stretch and played football at recess. The line in the sand was a little blurry.

Then came junior high. At our Junior High, it was the combination of two elementary schools, which meant the first weeks were spent establishing the heirarchy. I did my best to bridge the gap again, but I slowly realized where the power lay. I quit band. I started working out. I did good enough in school to stay in the honors program, but not good enough to be the best. Still, though, I had my feet firmly planted in both camps.

This continued on throughout High School. I tutured the football players of which I was the captain of the team. I wrestled, but I ran track. Still straddling the line.

I remember growing up, wishing that it was all over. No, not my life, but the whole growing up thing. Stop getting hair in weird places. Stop having my voice crack at the most awkward moments in the world. I'm finally there. (well, I do still have the weird hair growth...)

Last night I think I was at my pinnacle. I was watching "Heroes" and at one point I literally jumped out of my chair and started cheering. I'm not sure when it was. But I have firmly lifted my foot from the 'cool' and am now fully residing in the 'nerd' camp.

You can go for the obvious joke here, it's okay. Or allow me, "You were never in the cool camp to begin with!" For all you jokers out there, allow me one last retort...

You just remember what camp you want to be in this weekend when you watch a guy in a spider suit fight crime with his super-spider abilities. Then I ask, "Which camp do you want to be in?"

Censorship And A Sock Drawer...

I did something today that I promised myself I would never do.

When I began this blog I teetered with keeping my identity a secret. That's why I'm the anonymous human. I've read reallivepreacher.com for a couple of years now and I really liked the idea of being able to say whatever I wanted without any kind of remorse. Without the thought of offending anyone or worrying about what anyone might think.

I wasn't wanting to write a blog where I could cuss, but a blog where if I cussed, no one would think my salvation was in jeopardy. But ultimately, I realized that if I didn't tell anyone I existed, no one would ever know. And I'm narcissistic enough to want people to comment and tell me how good I am, that I just couldn't keep it a secret.

So then I had to wrestle with saying how I really felt sometimes with what some people I know read this would think if I did. I have really enjoyed the freedom that comes with not being on the pedestal of full time ministry. I enjoy being able to have conversations with people at the poker table and not have to lie to avoid having an awkward conversation with the guy next to me who just told me what he did with his hooker last night. I enjoy just being a christian who ministers to his world. Having beer in the fridge and not worry what image it says.

Yesterday I posted a video about some really stupid people. It was a guy who thought it would be a great idea to dive through a slip and slide drenched in alcohol. Oh yeah, and the alcohol was feeding the bon fire taking place on top of the slip and slide. Well, long story short, he burnt half his body to a crisp and hopefull made himself sterile. After some conversations, I pulled the video....okay, Dad made me take it off, but I don't blame him. The language on there was bad and it showed full frontal male nudity. And lets be honest...who wants to see that?

But the reason I pulled it is because of my brothers. I have three little guys that look up to me and don't always know what's right and wrong. I really wouldn't want to be held responsible when the deck goes up in flames on my parents house and Nic is below it with his slip and slide and a can of gasoline. So, even I have bad judgment calls.

For now, I'll just hide this one in my sock drawer...

No Words...

I came across this little ditty on the youtube. Hilarious.

She DOES love to laugh...

My friend Betsy over at betsy loves to laugh posted this and I thought I would see how bad I could butcher it.

For hours and hours I could...Find something else to do instead of the task that would only take me five minutes.

I feel best about myself...when I look at myself naked in the mirror...I am SEXY!!!!!!!!!

I absolutely cannot stand...bloggers who copy stuff from others...

I am afraid of...the letter Q (I had to work up courage just to type that!)

I love to splurge by...spending money...how else to you splurge? Cause seriously, if there's another way, I would love to save money.

I save by...trying to find new ways not to splurge.

I am trying to work on...finding new ways not to splurge...is this like the same question posted three different ways?

In high school...I was never allowed to splurge.

In college...I was too broke to splurge.

I feel I'm a good mom when...I splurge?

I regret...splurging.

I could never have too many...chocolate chip cookies

And you thought I was going to say splurge now didn't you?