Is not fun.


I'm going to die now.


Your Mother Is My Home...

I'm sitting in bed watching a movie right now (don't you love wireless internet!!!). I've seen this movie several times, though I won't mention it's name for fear of losing any bit of manhood I have managed to muster in these 26 (almost 27...arrrrrgh) years of living.

When watching it this afternoon, I heard a line from one of the main characters that I remember hearing before. It's a sweet line about his love and affection for his wife. See, his wife has dimentia and can't remember anything about her life. Her kids, her husband, her job, everything is gone. The husband has resigned himself to just being around her in hopes that every now and again she'll pop back into reality (okay, by this point, I've given the movie away).

There is a scene about halfway through the film when the kids come to visit their parents in the old person facility. The mom doesn't recognize any of her kids of course, much to the sadness of her children. After the mom excuses herself, the son turns to his dad and begs him to return home.

The father's reply is priceless.

"Look guys, that's my sweetheart in there. I'm not leaving her. This is my home now. Your mother is my home."

There is a beautiful passage in Ephesians 5 that talks about a husbands love for his wife. It speaks of giving up of himself. But more than that it speaks of Christ's love for his bride. As I heard the actor say those lines, I couldn't help to first think of my wife. My beautiful bride. I would do anything for my wife. I know I'm not perfect and I have a temper, but when I think of the girl with the green eyes, I can't help but smile. She's my world.

But as I pondered more into his (the actor's) love for his wife, it reminded me of the verse in Ephesians and I gained new insight into Christ's love. I can't help but think of Christ on the cross. I can't help but think of the angels who looked down from heaven and couldn't understand why a perfect son would sacrifice himself for such an adulturous wife. I can hear them beg the son,

"Please, come home. Come back and everything will be as it was."

The son turns his face to the darkened sky and with a phrase encapsolates it all,

"It is finished."

He left the diety of God for the humility of man. He left the power of God for the frailty of man.

When the Son turned to the Father and told Him it was time to go, the Father knew he was right. A tear fell from His cheek as He asked the question He already knew the answer to, "Are You sure?"

His reply was simple.

"My sweetheart is down there. I'm going to her. That is my home now. She is my home."


Sometimes, Reality is Reality

I love reality shows. Lately, Monday night has been the night to watch. At nine o'clock on NBC you have "Treasure Hunters." I am hooked on this show. It's a great adventure that includes both brain and braun and deals with early American History. How can you not love that! The contestants sometimes are a little ho hum, but overall, it is a great show.

Next comes "Road Rules, Real World Challenge." I've watched this ever since the original battle of the sexes when Johnny Mosley was the host. Also a fantastic show. I think MTV just knows how to edit well.

It was on this show that last night that something one of them said struck me.

It was a conversation between Derek and Diem. Okay, maybe not so much a conversatioin seeing that both of them were drunk, but they were mouthing the words none the less. This is pretty much how it went:

<Derek> "How can You like me? I'm so........WOOOOOOOOOOO" (as he flails his hands in the air acting crazy)

<Diem> "Yeah, but the 'WOOOOOO' is what makes it exciting"

<Derek> (very contemplative) "............yeah."

I think God is a lot like that. Not so much the drunk part but the 'WOOOOO' part. I think we like to picture God as this real safe guy who has everything under control. I think only half that is right. I do think God is in control, but I think his control is a little bit outside my comfort zone.

I know every writer in the world has quoted C.S. Lewis, so without further adieu:

"Is---is he a man?" asked Lucy.

"Aslan a man!" said Mr. Beaver sternly. "Certainly not. I tell you he is the King of the wood and the son of the great Emperor-Beyond-the-Sea. Don't you know who is the King of Beasts? Aslan is a Lion--the Lion, the great Lion."

"Ooh!" said Susan, "I'd thought he was a man. Is he---quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion."

"That you will, dearie, and no mistake," said Mrs. Beaver, "if there's anyone who can appear before Aslan without their knees knocking, they're either braver than most or else just silly."

"Then he isn't safe?" said Lucy.

"Safe?" said Mr. Beaver. "Don't you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe. 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King, I tell you."

Most of the time, when we are trying to control everything, I don't think we are feeling God's 'WOOOOO'. I think we want to have everything planned out. Knowing where our next paycheck is coming from. Knowing where we are going to sleep that night and what car we'll drive in the morning. I think the more we try and control, the more we lose the 'Wooooo'.

And when we lose the 'WOOOOO,' we lose the excitement.

I don't want to loose that. I want to keep the 'WOOOOO' alive. I want to trust in God's organized chaos of life. I want to live life not in the safety of his will, but in the danger of it. I want to step out of that boat and meet Jesus on the water. More than that, I want to crawl up on the cross and die to myself.

Oh, give me the courage to meet Aslan. To look at the King with trembling knees. If I can do that, I know one thing...somewhere inside of me, there will be a 'WOOOO'.

And unlike Derek and Diem, I'll probably remember it in the morning.


Gotta Be Numero Uno...

So I find this really interesting. I'm going to venture a guess that we are the only nation in the world that ranks our churches. I know, I know, this is a ranking of the most "influential" or whatever. Let's just say it...

'BEST.' There, we said it.

What we really mean are these are the best churches. Is this what we are to strive for? Maybe in our western civilization there is no way around a competitive attitude. I know every preacher on the list is just happy to be recognized (and I'm sure they are all very godly men) but you can't tell me ol' Ricky Warren is happy at number two. Somewhere inside that cat is a tiger wanting to be number one.

I'm not making fun of these churches. God knows I will never hold a candle next to these guys. I'm making fun of the ranking system. What is 'influence' anyways. I know the maxwellians out there will let me know that leadership=influence. So great. These churches have the largest number of leaders out there.

Congratulations. Here's your prize. A lifetime supply of John Maxwell books and free addmission to the Willow Creek Leadership Summit.

Anywho, along with leaders, I hope these people are having an influence on their poor, widowed, hungry, and homeless. That, I think would make everyone's top fifty.


I am addicted to YouTube.com...

But seriously, with this kind of stuff, how can you not be?


How Many Hail Mary's Is This Worth?

I was reading my Bible today and came across this. I know we've all heard the last part of that before. We've seen it on athlete's shoes, on signs at ball games, lots of places. But when you read it in context, I think we find it's not about God helping us to make the free throw, or catch the touchdown pass.

I think it's a little more deeper than that.

I often find myself frustrated in my job. It's long hours, complicated, hot, and I deal with construction people all day long. I often go home wiped out and just ready to crash. It's just not what I want to do with my life.

Then I'm reminded of this verse. Being content in ALL circumstances.

I got a call the other day from a former customer of mine. He said he was creating a position for his company and thought of me. Thought I'd be a good fit.

I was pumped. I still am. I was thinking as I was driving back to my site from lunch how it would just be perfect. It deals with the quality assurance side of homebuilding. I thought, "God, I can see your hand in this. I can see the experiences you've given me and how you've prepared me for this. Finally, a job I can be content with."

It was in that momment, when I prayed that word content, that I felt the Spirit speak.

"What if it's not for you, can you still feel me leading you?"

I almost had to pull over.

God forgive me when I put other things in front of you thinking it will bring me happiness. God forgive me when I look for contentment in everything but you.

With you, I am content. With my job, with my life, with my marriage, with everything. Not because you make those things better, but because you are better than those things.