My Therapy...

Don't Mess With The Falcons...

...cause you might get danced on all up in the hizzie!

Summer of Fear!!!!

Across The Universe Of Weird...

Saw "Across The Universe" today. Whenever I see an art/indie flick I'm always hesitant to say anything about it because 9 times out of 10, the film is amazing and I'm just uncultured swine that doesn't know what I'm talking about.

But alas, I will comment.

Didn't like it. I mean, I get the whole story through a Beatles song thing. I get that they trancended so many decades and movements and what not. I still just didn't like the film.

But, I took the girl with the green eyes and she liked it. Made her all gushy gushy. She was all clingy to me all afternoon. Now she's calling my name from upstairs.

On second thought...I loved the film.

I Hope They Win...

So, right now, it's the bottom of the sixth and the Rockies are up six to one thanks to a Holliday HR. I've always been a Rockies fan. "Yeah right" you say, "You're just jumping on the bandwagon."

Au contraire mon frere. My bedroom growing up was purple and black. I had a Colorado Rockies border lining my ceiling. I had hats, t-shirts, jackets, even a gold chain. I slept under purple sheets. PURPLE SHEETS! I may be the only straight man I know whose done so. I even have a picture of me in front of Coors Field when it was about halfway done. Been a fan since they came in the league.

All that being said, you are partly right. I'm more of the fan of the fairweather persuasion. But that's just because baseball is boring. What with all 162 games, who has time to keep up with it all? But the playoffs provide what the regular season is missing, namely meaning. In the playoffs, every game means something. It's why football is so popular. NASCAR tried it this year with the slogan that "Every Lap Counts". But come on, it counts towards one boring obsession with left hand turns and t-shirts without sleeves.

But now, these last few innings mean something. Speaking of which, I gotta go. Games on.

I'm Sick and Tired of It...

I'm done with sports. It's over for me.

You can't watch the NBA because you never know who is throwing the game. You used to think that was a danger only from players owing their bookie too much money. But now, every time I disagree with the ref, it'll cross your mind.

You can't watch baseball. There are so many roided out freaks in that league, the only natural thing left is David Well's man-boobs.

You can't watch the NFL. People recording other people signals. I just hate the Patriots.

And yesterday, the olympics were ruined for me when Marion Jones admitted to using steriods. She gave the same BS about not knowing they were steriods. Come on. You are training to be the best woman ever in track in field (5 gold medals at one olympics) and you aren't going to monitor what you put in your body like a fat kid behind the glass at a pizza place? What was that conversation like?

Trainer: Here, rub this on your muscles.

Jones: What is it? It's not steroids is it?

Trainer: Nope, it's magic lotion.

Jones: Really? I'll give my husband some too!

And her press conference was just awful. You could totally tell she was faking it the entire time. Seriously, I'm not watching one more athlete lead me down an exciting road only to find he was faking it the whole time.

From now on, it's only me and Jesus.

Jesus Manning that is.

Hello. Is There Anybody In There?

So I haven't posted in awhile. No real reason.

I've had the time. I'm off for two days in the middle of the week with no one home and nothing to do. So I can't really blame that.

And I have the fodder. We are starting a new small group. I'm reading a good book right now. I've traveled the across the country recently. The Colts are winning. All in all, there's bound to be some stories somewhere.

Truth is, I haven't really felt like it. Maybe because I'm soooo bored that I just can't motivate myself to do it. Who knows.

Please Touch This...

Well, I'm back from my fishing trip. The fishing didn't get any better, but I was able to play 3 rounds of golf and anytime I can do that in a week, it's a good week. It was great to spend time with my dad, two of his brothers, and my papaw. I wish my brother could've made it, but there's always next year.

One memory I'll always keep was the second day we were there. Dad had mentioned the first day that he wanted to go out with me and papaw at least once. Well, of course we would pick one of the nastiest weather moments to do so. So we put on our rain gear and went out in a torrential downpour. After we got the anchors down and the bait in the water, Papaw looked at me, soaked to the bone and said, "Now THIS is fishing!"

I'll post a couple of pictures when I get home from work in the next couple of days. The lake was beautiful. The leaves had already begun changing. I couldn't believe how red some of them were. Simply beautiful.

I came accross this video and had to post it. Mostly because I used to watch this show. Enjoy.

Life Is Good...

Today is the second day of the fishing trip. Caught only about 2 keepers. Then, after the morning session, Randy, Jeff and I played a mean game of make the hole up as you go putt-putt. Then Dad, Jeff, Papaw and I went out in the wind and the rain and threw the dice again. No luck. But that really wasn't the point anyway. The point is I'm fishing with my dad and my papaw.

Life is good.

Oh, and I'm blogging from my iPhone.

Life is REAL good.

See ya in a week.

What A Game...

I love football. All other sports are a distant second. And I mean distant. There is no other sport on this earth that can turn an almost 28 year-old man into a 8 year old boy. When I'm watching a game I care about, emotions just spring forth and sometimes I have no idea where they came from. I remember vividly when Jerome Bettis fumbled the ball in the Colts playoff game two years ago. We had endzone seats and it happened right in front of us. I began jumping up and down and screaming like a little girl. I didn't care. We had hope. We had a chance.

Had.

Anyway, last night I went to the UNLV/Wisconsin game. For those of you that missed it, you can catch a recap here. But a recap doesn't do it justice. As my friend Matt has previously pointed out, this football teams shows some heart that this desert landscape of a football town hasn't seen in a while. I was at the sold out Sam Boyd stadium to watch this upset. I know, I know, UNLV didn't win, but to say this still wasn't an upset would be an incorrect statement. I know several Wisconsin fans that were upset the entire game until about 1:53 to go in the fourth quarter. It didn't matter that the majority of fans in the stadium were Badgers. UNLV played the best football I've seen in that stadium. UNLV played better than Wisconsin. If it hadn't been for a rookie mistake (Dixon threw the lone turnover under extreme pressure. Should've just taken the sack. He'll get there.) and 1 missed tackle, the game was over. But it doesn't matter. UNLV came on the field against the highest ranked opponent they've ever faced at Sam Boyd and showed what they were made of.

5th in the nation my ass.

So what we lost. We were supposed to lose. By four touchdowns. Who had faith? I did. Which is why I'll be cashing my ticket in today. BOO YA WISCONSIN!!!!!!

I Hope He Wins...

Quiton Jackson is the funniest guy in the UFC. Check out this interview he did with a british mag.

Awesome.

Life Is Good...

Had the draft last night for my fantasy league. Starting line-up, tell me what you think:

QB: Matt Hasselbeck
RB: LaDainian Tomlinson
RB: Clinton Portis
WR: Steve Smith
WR: Lee Evans
WR: Darrell Jackson
TE: Chris Cooley
K: Robbie Gould
D/ST: Dolphins

To Add Insult To Injury...

...Here is a clip of Miss Teen South Carolina's parents while she was giving her response. I can see where she gets it.



Ahhh...getting joy at another's expense. It's the U.S. American way.

Just When You Think...

...Apple is done, they do it again.

The Departed...

I'm watching it right now. There is a scene when Matt Damon is having dinner with his soon-to-be girlfriend. She's a shrink that works for the police department counseling guys who have killed people and can't deal with it. He asks her why she does it. I thought her response was interesting.

"Because sometimes they get better."

Kinda makes you think.

Because There Are Much More Clever People Than Me Like Such As...

Must Be From South Carolina...

Really? Did you think your arm was tougher than science? That car has to weigh about a thousand pounds. A THOUSAND POUNDS!

I love the headband too. As if this moronic stunt was something to get pumped up for. Yeah, roll a car over your arm with no protection, but make sure you keep the sweat out of your eyes!

In the words of the idiot, "That was bad."

What Did She Say?

It would be really easy to quote the moderator from Billy Madison here. REALLY EASY. But I figured to really make you laugh I'd have to come up with something really clever. So...

"Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."

Dang it! I tried, I really tried, but sometimes easy is best! Did she even try? Did she even hear the question? Let me break down her response so we can take a closer look at her intelligence level:

"I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because uh some people out there in our nation don't have maps and I believe that our education lacks such as South Africa and the Iraq everywhere like such as and I believe that they should our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S. or should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the asian countries so we will be able to build up our future for our..."

Thank God the host was there to put an end to that torture. I didn't even know that Iraq now got an article before it's name. The Iraq. Not to be confused those pretenders to the north. This is THE Iraq.

I'm pretty sure she was one of the fifth of Americans who couldn't find the U.S. on a world map. I'm pretty sure she couldn't identify earth in our solar system. I'm pretty sure she doesn't even know what a solar system is. I'm actually kinda surprised she didn't try to eat the foam off the microphone.

I think we should've asked her a different question,

"Miss Teen South Carolina, Do I to know want will we look like when we go to Hollowa?"

Football Quotes...

My father-in-law sent me this list of football quotes and, being this time of year, I thought I would share with my faithful readers. So, Bill, Betsy, Mom and Dad, enjoy:

Now that football season is upon us, it's a good time to get in the mood by reading these quotations from well known football personalities!



"At Georgia Southern, we don't cheat. That costs money and we don't
have any." Erk Russell / Georgia Southern.

"Football is only a game. Spiritual things are eternal. Nevertheless, Beat Texas." Seen on a church sign in Arkansas prior to the 1969 game.

"After you retire, there's only one big event left....and I ain't ready for that." Bobby Bowden / Florida State

"The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely to
be the one who dropped it." Lou Holtz

"When you win, nothing hurts." Joe Namath / Alabama

"Motivation is simple. You eliminate those who are not motivated."
Lou Holtz

"A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a
medieval study hall." Frank Leahy / Notre Dame

"There's nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell
kicked out of you." Woody Hayes / Ohio State

"I don't expect to win enough games to be put on NCAA probation. I just want to win enough to warrant an investigation." Bob Devaney /
Nebraska

"You can learn more character on the two-yard line than anywhere
else in life." Paul Dietzel / LSU

"It's kind of hard to rally around a math class." Bear Bryant / Alabama

"No, but you can see it from here." Lou Holtz / Arkansas...
When asked if Fayetteville was the end of the world.

"I make my practices real hard because if a player is a quitter, I
want him to quit in practice, not in a game." Bear Bryant / Alabama

"There's one sure way to stop us from scoring - give us the ball near
the goal line." MattyBell / SMU

"Lads, you're not to miss practice unless your parents died or you
died." ; Frank Leahy / Notre Dame

"I never graduated from Iowa, but I was only there for two terms -
Truman's and Eisenhower's." Alex Karras / Iowa

"My advice to defensive players: Take the shortest route to the ball
and arrive in a bad humor." Bowden Wyatt / Tennessee

"I could have been a Rhodes Scholar, except for my grades." Duffy
Daugherty / MichiganState

"Always remember..... Goliath was a 40 point favorite over David."
Shug Jordan / Auburn

"They cut us up like boarding house pie. And that's real small pieces." Darrell Royal /Texas

"Show me a good and gracious loser, and I'll show you a failure."
Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

"They whipped us like a tied up goat." Spike Dykes / Texas Tech

"I asked Darrell Royal, the coach of the Texas Longhorns, why he
didn't recruit me and he said: "Well, Walt, we took a look at you
and you weren't any good." Walt Garrison /Oklahoma State

"Son, you've got a good engine, but your hands aren't on the
steering wheel." Bobby Bowden / Florida State

"Football is not a contact sport-it is a collision sport. Dancing is
a contact sport." Duffy Daugherty / Michigan State

After USC lost 51-0 to Notre Dame, his post game message to his
team: "All those who need showers, take them." John McKay / USC

"If lessons are learned in defeat, our team is getting a great
education." Murray Warmath / Minnesota

"The only qualifications for a lineman are to be big and dumb. To be
a back, you only have to be dumb." Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

"Oh, we played about like three tons of buzzard puke this afternoon."
Spike Dykes /Texas Tech

"It isn't necessary to see a good tackle. You can hear it." Knute
Rockne / Notre Dame

"We didn't t ackle well today but we made up for it by not blocking."
John McKay / USC

"Three things can happen when you throw the ball, and two of them
are bad." Darrell Royal / University of Texas

"I've found that prayers work best when you have big players."
Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

"Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy than to fumble
this football." John Heisman