What Kind Of Golf Ball Is That?

What. A. Moron.

And You Thought Boise State Was Tricky...

That video cracks me up. I would like to give special props to the quarterback who so convincingly walked to the sidelines with much patience. I would also like to give the coveted "Decidingly Ingeniously Conceived Koverup Handoff End-around Absolute Design" of the year award to the coach, who not only decided that playing football like a coward was a good idea to teach 10 year olds, but so convincingly contributed to the play with his witty sideline banter. Parents of the year awards to all the parents who cheered this play on and also for their participation in the after game scuffle between the rival parents. That's about all the awards I can think of...

Unless you want to give me blogger of the year for posting this?

A Whole New World...

Have you ever been excited about something but had a feeling in the back of your mind that it probably wasn't going to work out? For instance, a conversation with Bill Wolf about six months ago got me so excited about taking a trip to Europe. We went to a travel agent, saved up a couple grand, I even called my old French teacher (who has been to Paris several times) to get suggestions on travel and specific places to visit. But in the back of my mind, I always knew something would come up and we wouldn't be able to go.

About 8 months ago, I started the process of getting my real estate license. I signed up for school. I went to school every night for a month. Studied my butt off. Passed the tests. Then it was time to get a job. I called the sales manager of my company and told him I wanted to work for him. It took about four months of calling and interviews and paperwork, but finally, about a month ago, they offered me the job. Even still, after all this, I still thought something would come up.

Yesterday, my license came in the mail. It's official. I am licensed in the state of Nevada to sell real estate.

That reminds me of a verse. Proverbs 16:9:

"In his heart a man plans his course,
but the LORD determines his steps."

I take comfort in the fact that God is in control. That we can think we have everything figured out, but our only real decision is if we are going to be faithful to his plans or not. I've layed out my plans right now. I'm pretty sure if God will just listen to me, that I have it all figured out. But, of course, we know that isn't true. So, I wait on God, and follow where he leads.

As long as it makes me rich.

Just kidding.

It's A Funny Thing...

So I haven't posted in a while. Sorry bout that. To say I've been a little busy would be an understatement. I'm not sure there was a night last week I went to bed before 11:00. Now, before all you night owls start saying that's early to be going to bed, I reply, you wake up at five every morning for three years and see what time you start heading to bed. All of the sudden, 9:00 is pretty late.

Anywho, this weekend was good. I was able to catch up on some much needed sleep. I shot a 44 on the back nine of golf on Saturday (I won't say what I shot on the front nine, but let's just say it was higher than than 44). Plus, Candice's aunt and uncle and cousin were in from California. We always have a great time when they come into town. We made up some pool (as in billiards, not swimming) game where the person who won the last round got to add a rule to the next round. After about three or four rounds of this, it got quite confusing, but it was fun none the less.

I wanted to share two stories about my sister in law from dinner last night. We went to a japenese place. I had some crab legs and started making gestures toward my sister in law with the little pincher, effectively grossing her out (which, of course, was my goal). She said, "Ewww, gross." and I said, "yeah, I know. Poor little Sebastian." To which she replied, "No, Sebastian was a crab."

Next story. This one I wasn't present for, but it's so good, I just have to share.

(Preface: Kevin is my sister in law's ...um...friend who isn't female)

Setting: Las Vegas Strip. 2:00 a.m.

Stefanie: "Look, there's a blind guy."

Kevin: "Yeah."

Stefanie: "But how does he get around at night?"

Draw curtain.

To The Hills Of Tennessee...

So I promised some stories from my trip to Tennessee and since I am a man of my word, here you go.

As I blogged before, my dad asked me to preach for him on the Sunday morning we were there. I had forgotten (and he had conveniently not reminded me) that they were now doing two services. One in the early morning for the old folks (traditional) and one in the later morning for the youngins (contemporary). Sunday morning we arrive at the church and I walk in the doors hearing the music to "God Bless The U.S.A." I kinda laughed and just assumed that they were testing the sound system or something. Once service started, I quickly learned that "G.B.T.U.S.A." was being used as the call to worship. I'll admit I snickered a few times when on the chorus a couple of people actually stood up (I guess to defend her?...). I found this a little strange but then I remembered it was July 4th week and the song does say "God" in it, so whatever. Well, I look at my little program thingy and notice the hymns we would be singing. I believe they were as follows:

"My Country 'tis Of Thee"
"God Bless America"
"America The Beautiful"

Now, (and Mom and Dad, I know you'll read this, so don't be offended) I'm all about America. One of my regrets of youth was not signing up for the service out of high school. I think it would've done me a lot of good and I regret not serving my country. I would gladly stand up next to you anytime. But, I was a bit bothered singing to my country at church. I even stopped and just listened for the most part. I know what we are saying. That we are sincerely grateful for a country that allows us to sing to whoever we want to sing to. But I'll be thankful while singing to Jesus, not purple mountain majesties thank you very much.

So then, on Independence Eve, we went to a baseball game. Knoxville Smokies verses the Mississippi Braves of the AA minor league system. Pretty good game. Guy smashes a home run the first two times at bat. Pretty exciting. But the real fireworks came after the game when they shot...well, fireworks. They were launching these enormous explosions all set to patriotic music. But the one that really got me was when John Wayne's voice comes over the loudspeakers quoting the "Pledge of Allegiance."

All of the sudden it hit me like a lump in the throat. I live in the greatest country in the world. So what if we sang to America at church. In a lot of countries in the world, that would've been a requirement at church EVERY WEEK! So here I am sitting at a baseball game, eating a hot dog and salted peanuts, watching fireworks, listening to John Wayne recite "One Nation under God." The only way I could've felt more patriotic is if I'd remembered my stars and stripes thong.

Single tear.

God Bless the U.S.A. indeed. Thank you Lee Greenwood, thank you.

(BTW, the single greatest moment at the ballgame was when the Smokies were losing by about 47 runs and they were down to their last six outs. Question, how do you get 6,000 Tennesseans on their feet in an instant? Tell them there is a sale on NASCAR souvenirs at Walmart? Tell them you just saw a 30 point buck in the woods behind the stadium? Nope. Rocky Top Tennessee baby. Rocky Top Tennessee.)

But It's Still Funny...

I know what you're thinking. This is someone's grandma. This lady bakes cookies and pancakes for her grandchildren. She prolly has a pocketbook too. That's what my grandma used to say. "Go get my poketbook." And then she would give me fifty cents. Cause back in those days, fifty cents could get you a soda pop. Those good ol' days.

Anyway, like I said, I know what you're thinking. But it's still funny.



If you look closely, the person in front of grandma ducks. What? Are you too good to take one for grandma? Ungrateful jerk. She made cookies for you!

It's Not Writer's Block...

So I know I haven't written anything in a while. We had a great trip to Tennessee. Got to see a lot of family and friends and had a great view from our cabin in the smokies. It's always good to see my family as I don't get to see them too much being that I live a million miles away and they are allergic to flying.

I have a couple of good stories to share, but I'm going to try to work on them a bit to make them worth your while. Till then...