Is That What He Means By Lukewarm?

Okay, seriously, I think I'm going to vomit.

No joke.

I went to a 'real' church for the second week in a row. Last week we were in Seattle and hit Mars Hill to hear Mark Driscoll speak. Didn't blow the roof off the place, but it was good for my heart to see the church seeking God through the scriptures and worshipping with new songs.

This week.....not so much.

I won't name the place, though I will pray for it so it might fall on it's knees in repentance (though that probably isn't likely).

It started off normal enough. Three songs of worship (new enough to be cutting edge, keyboards enough to be adult contemporary). Something that bothered me (and this is all personal), one guy on guitar led the first song, a chick with a mic led the second, and the guy behind the piano led the third. They all had great voices, but I wasn't sure the point behind splitting up the songs, but like I said, that's all personal.

Next, the youth minister stumbles out talking about the two weeks of camp he just came from and that he's hardly awake. Probably not the guy you want doing the announcements, but whatever.

Then the token special. 100 years by five for fighting. Excellent.

Then lighting struck. Well, it should've, cause then it would've stopped the abomination that causes desolation from taking place.

Seriously, it was that bad.

His topic was "How to Balance Work and Life."

I looked around.

Yeah, there's a crowd and a stage and a soundboard and microphones and lights. This is church all right. For a momment I thought I had stepped into a self help seminar.

"H0w to Balance Work and Life."

He quoted a science text book more than he quoted the bible. He used Jesus as the ultimate example of balance.

First of all, no duh, Jesus is the ultimate example of everything. However, Jesus was homeless and jobless, so unless you are advocating a mass exodus in the work force, I'm not sure that completely applies.

Now, maybe in the infinate wisdom of the elders they decided that this church was getting too full of workaholics so they searched out the formost expert on this.

But I doubt it.

Worst of all, his three points for keeping life balanced were: task lists, relationships, and rest.

I'm not kidding. Nothing about reading your bible or praying to begin your day. Nothing about keeping God first and letting everything else be small stuff. Nope; tasks, relationships, and rest are the way to do it. He even had us draw an example on our notes. It's an upside down triangle (doesn't that mean you're gay?). Tasks in the upper left, relationships in the upper right, and rest at the bottom.

I've preached some bad sermons in my life. But may I never, ever preach a sermon on balancing life and work. And if I by some off chance I am forced to, please, please, shoot me.

At least I won't have to vomit.