You now will be.
12.10.2008
I Am Not Making This Up...
This is what happens when people like me grow up and get real jobs. Jobs like "Boss" and "Manager". And "Graphic Design". And by "Graphic" I mean "GRAPHIC". Check out the new logo for the newest single A team in the minor leagues, the 'Winston-Salem Dash'
Remind you of anything?
(Yes, I understand I have the humor of an eighth grade boy. Yes, I am okay with that)
Remind you of anything?
(Yes, I understand I have the humor of an eighth grade boy. Yes, I am okay with that)
12.04.2008
Prepare To Have Your Mind Blown...
Watch this...
So, let's recap what we've learned here. There is an animal that can snap his claws together so fast, it creates a sonic boom that gets hotter than the surface of the sun and paralyzes it's prey. Looks like I'll be staying out of the ocean for a while.
So, let's recap what we've learned here. There is an animal that can snap his claws together so fast, it creates a sonic boom that gets hotter than the surface of the sun and paralyzes it's prey. Looks like I'll be staying out of the ocean for a while.
12.01.2008
Well, Now That That's Settled...
(The following was taken directly from the BCS website, provided to explain how the BCS rankings are determined. Just in case you were wondering.)
The Harris Interactive Poll, USA Today Coaches Poll and computer rankings each comprise one-third of the BCS Standings. To derive the three percentages, each team is assigned an inverse point total (25 for No. 1, 24 for No. 2, etc.) The two poll percentages are calculated by dividing each team’s point total by a maximum 2825 possible points (Harris) and 1525 possible points (USA Today). The computer rankings percentage is calculated by dropping the highest and lowest ranking for each team and
then dividing the remaining total by 100 (the maximum possible points). The BCS Average is calculated by averaging the percentage totals of the Harris Interactive Poll, USA Today Poll, and computer rankings. The teams’ BCS Averages are ranked to produce the BCS Standings. The six computer ranking providers are Anderson &
Hester, Richard Billingsley, Colley Matrix, Kenneth Massey, Jeff Sagarin and Peter Wolfe. Each computer ranking provider accounts for schedule strength within its
formula.
The Harris Interactive Poll, USA Today Coaches Poll and computer rankings each comprise one-third of the BCS Standings. To derive the three percentages, each team is assigned an inverse point total (25 for No. 1, 24 for No. 2, etc.) The two poll percentages are calculated by dividing each team’s point total by a maximum 2825 possible points (Harris) and 1525 possible points (USA Today). The computer rankings percentage is calculated by dropping the highest and lowest ranking for each team and
then dividing the remaining total by 100 (the maximum possible points). The BCS Average is calculated by averaging the percentage totals of the Harris Interactive Poll, USA Today Poll, and computer rankings. The teams’ BCS Averages are ranked to produce the BCS Standings. The six computer ranking providers are Anderson &
Hester, Richard Billingsley, Colley Matrix, Kenneth Massey, Jeff Sagarin and Peter Wolfe. Each computer ranking provider accounts for schedule strength within its
formula.
11.13.2008
9 Months Later...
I just got this forward, but since I don't like to pass on forwards, I thought I would just post it:
Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob, so they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours they got caught in a terrible blizzard. They pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.
'I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed,' she explained. 'I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house.'
'Don't worry,' Jack said. 'We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light.'
The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night. Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.
But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.
He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, 'Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north about 9 months ago?'
'Yes, I do.' said Bob.
'Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?'
'Well, um, yes,' Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out, 'I have to admit that I did.'
'And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?'
Bob's face turned beet red and he said, 'Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did.' 'Why do you ask?'
'She just died and left me everything.'
Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob, so they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours they got caught in a terrible blizzard. They pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.
'I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed,' she explained. 'I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house.'
'Don't worry,' Jack said. 'We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light.'
The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night. Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.
But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.
He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, 'Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north about 9 months ago?'
'Yes, I do.' said Bob.
'Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?'
'Well, um, yes,' Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out, 'I have to admit that I did.'
'And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?'
Bob's face turned beet red and he said, 'Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did.' 'Why do you ask?'
'She just died and left me everything.'
11.07.2008
The Perfect Kitty...
I don't like cats. They are moody like women and make my eyes itch. However, that doesn't mean I don't enjoy a good cat video every now and again.
11.04.2008
Last Political Post, I Promise...
It's over.
Freakin finally. I am sick and tired of the ads. I'm sick and tired of the phone calls. I'm sick and tired of feeling like I'm fighting with my friends.
Couple of thoughts:
-I'm glad that the first president my daughter will know is black. I think it's cool that she'll grow up in a different world of race relations.
-I thought Obama's puppy comment was funny/cute.
-How in the world does his grandma pass away the day before the election? How? Very weird.
-On facebook, I've read a variety of comments about people who are now scared out of their mind. I remember feeling that way after Clinton won. I was also 12 years old.
-When you think about Obama's story, it's pretty amazing. Truly, we live in the greatest country in the world.
-I'm not excited about everything that Obama is going to do. But I am excited.
-Since I've been able to vote, I'm 3 for 3. I'm just saying...
Good night all. God bless. God bless America.
Freakin finally. I am sick and tired of the ads. I'm sick and tired of the phone calls. I'm sick and tired of feeling like I'm fighting with my friends.
Couple of thoughts:
-I'm glad that the first president my daughter will know is black. I think it's cool that she'll grow up in a different world of race relations.
-I thought Obama's puppy comment was funny/cute.
-How in the world does his grandma pass away the day before the election? How? Very weird.
-On facebook, I've read a variety of comments about people who are now scared out of their mind. I remember feeling that way after Clinton won. I was also 12 years old.
-When you think about Obama's story, it's pretty amazing. Truly, we live in the greatest country in the world.
-I'm not excited about everything that Obama is going to do. But I am excited.
-Since I've been able to vote, I'm 3 for 3. I'm just saying...
Good night all. God bless. God bless America.
10.28.2008
Don't Censor Me...
Cause I'll do it myself thank you very much.
I wrote a post responding to the last comments Ryan left regarding abortion. I attempted to use some tongue-in-cheek humor, but it apparently didn't work. So, I pulled it. I don't like to censor myself very often, but I'll do it on occassion. I will probably post something better written that attempts to express what I was trying to say, but I'll do it sometime when it isn't 12:25 in the morning. If you happen to have read the blog, feel free to comment anyway.
I'll be back...
I wrote a post responding to the last comments Ryan left regarding abortion. I attempted to use some tongue-in-cheek humor, but it apparently didn't work. So, I pulled it. I don't like to censor myself very often, but I'll do it on occassion. I will probably post something better written that attempts to express what I was trying to say, but I'll do it sometime when it isn't 12:25 in the morning. If you happen to have read the blog, feel free to comment anyway.
I'll be back...
10.16.2008
That's How You Debate...
Look, by now it's no secret I'm an Obama man. So, it won't be a shocker when I say that Obama hit it out of the park last night. John McCain looked like a desperate kid angry that life isn't fair. Well, in the words of my Dad, "Life isn't fair! Get over it!"
Obama's ideas are just better. His composure is more presidential. When it came to explaining his health care package, McCain had no recourse but to use his memorized attack right after Obama was very articulate as to what his plan actually was and what it wasn't. He just looked foolish. He couldn't think on his feet. He couldn't articulate his ideas (he even called Obama "Senator Government" at one point. By accident.) He looked frustrated and annoyed. At one point, I literally felt like I could see McCain saying in his head, "Man, I wish that was my plan. That sounds better than my plan."
If we want to get into the issues as to why I'm an Obama man, we can, and I'm more than happy to do that. But you'd have to at least agree that last night, one guy looked ready to lead the country, and one guy looked like someone had just stolen his favorite toy.
Obama's ideas are just better. His composure is more presidential. When it came to explaining his health care package, McCain had no recourse but to use his memorized attack right after Obama was very articulate as to what his plan actually was and what it wasn't. He just looked foolish. He couldn't think on his feet. He couldn't articulate his ideas (he even called Obama "Senator Government" at one point. By accident.) He looked frustrated and annoyed. At one point, I literally felt like I could see McCain saying in his head, "Man, I wish that was my plan. That sounds better than my plan."
If we want to get into the issues as to why I'm an Obama man, we can, and I'm more than happy to do that. But you'd have to at least agree that last night, one guy looked ready to lead the country, and one guy looked like someone had just stolen his favorite toy.
10.15.2008
10.13.2008
10.07.2008
X Watch Might Not Let You See This...
I was reading an article about the economy by Jim Cramer when I came accross this article. I thought it was really good. I thought it was a different perspective on the realities of porn in our culture. This might be a bit graphic in nature, but honest.
Check it out.
What do you think?
Check it out.
What do you think?
10.06.2008
In My Absence...
I know that I've been extremely absent lately. Just too much going on to blog. In keeping with my lulls, I have found the ultimate video. Someone compiled 35 minutes of ever crash, nut shot, sucker punch, fire mishap, drunk backflips, etc, that I've ever seen. So, for now, this will have to keep you entertained. Till later...
9.21.2008
9.16.2008
9.03.2008
And The Gift Goes On...
Wow.
What a week.
Today, Chloe Mae Keck is exactly 1 week old. I've been quite overwhelmed with everything that has happened in the last week, let alone the weeks leading up to her birth. They say everything will change, but until it happens, you don't know what that means. Now I know, and I have no way to descibe it other than the best thing I've ever done.
I've written before about my thoughts on God's will. Despite my lack of faith, and though I won't say I saw God's will, I can certainly say I felt His hand and saw His providence. Let me fill you in on the details a bit:
On August 13th, the girl with the green eyes went in for a normal doc appointment. We were getting close to the final month, so these would become more and more frequent. Everything was going fine until the very end, the doc said, "Ya know, I just can't tell for sure if the baby's head is down. I want you to have an ultrasound before you leave just to make sure."
So, we head down the hall and wait for the ultrasound tech. She finally has an opening and goes to work. Sure enough, the baby's head is down, but the tech says she wants to check a few more things. Then she says she needs to show something to the doctor. Turns out, the amniotic fluid is low. They tells us we need to see a specialist.
That Friday, we go to the specialist. They confirm the earlier diagnosis. Low fluid. The order Candice to bedrest and to drink as much water as a human can possible imbibe. Turns out it's about 2 gallons. So, after doing nothing but peeing for 24 hours, we head to the hospital to get checked again. A doctor we've never met checks her again and says everything is fine. We are a bit skeptical. So, we decide to go back to the specialists on Monday. They check her again and unknown doc was wrong.
She's a quart low.
Same prognosis. Bedrest and water and come back in 48 hours.
That Wednesday, August 20th, when we headed out to the doctor's appointment, we had no idea that we wouldn't come back home without a baby. They did the same check ups and despite drinking the equivilant of Lake Mead, there was no change to her fluid level. We told the ultrasound tech that Candice had also had a harder time doing the "kick counts" (how long it takes the baby to kick inside the stomach). She goes to get our specialist doctor. He says, "Well, take it easy and we'll see you in 48 hours." Then the tech decides to chip in and say, "Oh, by the way, her kick counts are taking longer." The doctor leaves the room for a bit then comes back to tell us to head straight to the hospital for 24 hour monitoring.
Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.
Once at the hospital, they monitored her. And monitored her. And did it some more. And a few more times. And a little longer. Nothing was happening. Low fluid but baby was fine. Finally, they said, "you know what, you are full term, let's just induce and get that sucker out of there."
So, at 9 am on Tuesday August 26th, they began the induction. Everything was going fine. The first go round lasts 12 hours and then they put in the "pushing" medicine.
I had decided that during the 12 hours I would try to get some work done. I finished up about 1 and started to head back to the hospital. I was kinda hungry since I hadn't eaten all day. But, instead of stopping to get something to eat, I decided to head to the hospital first, just to make sure everything was okay.
As I walked into the room, I was followed by two nurses. I walked in to see two other nurses staring at the monitoring maching.
"Maybe the machine's broke," one says.
"Or it's registering it twice," the other says.
I look at the baby's heart rate and it's off the charts. A safe heartbeat for a baby is anywhere between 120-180 bpm. Chloe's was 250-260. Not good.
"Turn it off and turn it back on," chimes in one of the nurses that followed me in.
The ol' Nintendo trick. Doesn't work.
They get an ultrasound in there to confirm what the machine was saying. Yup, my baby's heart was in hyperdrive.
"Who's your doctor?" they ask us.
"Our primary is Tyre and our specialist is Bolnick." Candice says.
"Hang on." They say.
Turns out, our specialist doctor, was next door. I don't mean like in the medical office next to the hospital, I mean he was in the room next door checking on another patient of the specialist clinic. They grabbed him and he came in and took a look.
"Let's go get her," He says.
That was at 1:30 pm. Chloe was born at 2:00 pm. It was fast.
So, if our original doctor hadn't thought to check for the baby's head position, we wouldn't have found out about her low fluid. If the tech hadn't mentioned her long kick counts, we wouldn't have went to the hospital. If we wouldn't have been monitored, we wouldn't have known about her heart rate. If Dr. Bolnick wasn't next door, I don't want to think about what would've happened.
Yes, I believe in God and in His providence.
We did good.
What a week.
Today, Chloe Mae Keck is exactly 1 week old. I've been quite overwhelmed with everything that has happened in the last week, let alone the weeks leading up to her birth. They say everything will change, but until it happens, you don't know what that means. Now I know, and I have no way to descibe it other than the best thing I've ever done.
I've written before about my thoughts on God's will. Despite my lack of faith, and though I won't say I saw God's will, I can certainly say I felt His hand and saw His providence. Let me fill you in on the details a bit:
On August 13th, the girl with the green eyes went in for a normal doc appointment. We were getting close to the final month, so these would become more and more frequent. Everything was going fine until the very end, the doc said, "Ya know, I just can't tell for sure if the baby's head is down. I want you to have an ultrasound before you leave just to make sure."
So, we head down the hall and wait for the ultrasound tech. She finally has an opening and goes to work. Sure enough, the baby's head is down, but the tech says she wants to check a few more things. Then she says she needs to show something to the doctor. Turns out, the amniotic fluid is low. They tells us we need to see a specialist.
That Friday, we go to the specialist. They confirm the earlier diagnosis. Low fluid. The order Candice to bedrest and to drink as much water as a human can possible imbibe. Turns out it's about 2 gallons. So, after doing nothing but peeing for 24 hours, we head to the hospital to get checked again. A doctor we've never met checks her again and says everything is fine. We are a bit skeptical. So, we decide to go back to the specialists on Monday. They check her again and unknown doc was wrong.
She's a quart low.
Same prognosis. Bedrest and water and come back in 48 hours.
That Wednesday, August 20th, when we headed out to the doctor's appointment, we had no idea that we wouldn't come back home without a baby. They did the same check ups and despite drinking the equivilant of Lake Mead, there was no change to her fluid level. We told the ultrasound tech that Candice had also had a harder time doing the "kick counts" (how long it takes the baby to kick inside the stomach). She goes to get our specialist doctor. He says, "Well, take it easy and we'll see you in 48 hours." Then the tech decides to chip in and say, "Oh, by the way, her kick counts are taking longer." The doctor leaves the room for a bit then comes back to tell us to head straight to the hospital for 24 hour monitoring.
Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.
Once at the hospital, they monitored her. And monitored her. And did it some more. And a few more times. And a little longer. Nothing was happening. Low fluid but baby was fine. Finally, they said, "you know what, you are full term, let's just induce and get that sucker out of there."
So, at 9 am on Tuesday August 26th, they began the induction. Everything was going fine. The first go round lasts 12 hours and then they put in the "pushing" medicine.
I had decided that during the 12 hours I would try to get some work done. I finished up about 1 and started to head back to the hospital. I was kinda hungry since I hadn't eaten all day. But, instead of stopping to get something to eat, I decided to head to the hospital first, just to make sure everything was okay.
As I walked into the room, I was followed by two nurses. I walked in to see two other nurses staring at the monitoring maching.
"Maybe the machine's broke," one says.
"Or it's registering it twice," the other says.
I look at the baby's heart rate and it's off the charts. A safe heartbeat for a baby is anywhere between 120-180 bpm. Chloe's was 250-260. Not good.
"Turn it off and turn it back on," chimes in one of the nurses that followed me in.
The ol' Nintendo trick. Doesn't work.
They get an ultrasound in there to confirm what the machine was saying. Yup, my baby's heart was in hyperdrive.
"Who's your doctor?" they ask us.
"Our primary is Tyre and our specialist is Bolnick." Candice says.
"Hang on." They say.
Turns out, our specialist doctor, was next door. I don't mean like in the medical office next to the hospital, I mean he was in the room next door checking on another patient of the specialist clinic. They grabbed him and he came in and took a look.
"Let's go get her," He says.
That was at 1:30 pm. Chloe was born at 2:00 pm. It was fast.
So, if our original doctor hadn't thought to check for the baby's head position, we wouldn't have found out about her low fluid. If the tech hadn't mentioned her long kick counts, we wouldn't have went to the hospital. If we wouldn't have been monitored, we wouldn't have known about her heart rate. If Dr. Bolnick wasn't next door, I don't want to think about what would've happened.
Yes, I believe in God and in His providence.
We did good.
8.29.2008
The Adventure Begins...
(I wrote the following blog the night we found out I had knocked up the girl with the green eyes. I saved it to my other blog because I couldn't post it here quite yet. But I had to do something. So, here is the first blog in the life of my baby.)
It's Monday, January 21st.
It's 10:53 pm and though I didn't get much sleep last night, I'm wide awake.
The girl with the green eyes expected two words, but somehow, I knew there would only be one. One little word that will forever change my life.
Pregnant.
I don't believe I will ever forget that moment. She peed into a cup and then I dipped the little stick in. She had wanted to take it by herself earlier in the day, but I wouldn't let her. For once, I'm glad she listened to me. We both crouched over the counter in our spare bath and watched a little hourglass blink. The package said it would take three minutes, but she must be REALLY knocked up because it seemed to only be about thirty seconds.
It cut her off mid-sentence, as if to say there is nothing you will ever say again that will be more important than me.
Pregnant.
We hugged. We kissed and said I love you. We took a couple pictures with the test.
Pregnant.
Then, in a surprising moment of spiritual clarity, I grabbed the girl with the green eyes' hand and we knelt at the end of our bed.
I told God he could have it.
I praised Him for His generosity. I wept at His mercy. I laughed at His timing.
The thing is probably about the size of my pinky and I'm already envisioning the people he will lead or the beauty she will display.
This is my child.
And that is why I lie awake on an otherwise ordinary Monday night.
Because nothing will ever be ordinary again.
It's Monday, January 21st.
It's 10:53 pm and though I didn't get much sleep last night, I'm wide awake.
The girl with the green eyes expected two words, but somehow, I knew there would only be one. One little word that will forever change my life.
Pregnant.
I don't believe I will ever forget that moment. She peed into a cup and then I dipped the little stick in. She had wanted to take it by herself earlier in the day, but I wouldn't let her. For once, I'm glad she listened to me. We both crouched over the counter in our spare bath and watched a little hourglass blink. The package said it would take three minutes, but she must be REALLY knocked up because it seemed to only be about thirty seconds.
It cut her off mid-sentence, as if to say there is nothing you will ever say again that will be more important than me.
Pregnant.
We hugged. We kissed and said I love you. We took a couple pictures with the test.
Pregnant.
Then, in a surprising moment of spiritual clarity, I grabbed the girl with the green eyes' hand and we knelt at the end of our bed.
I told God he could have it.
I praised Him for His generosity. I wept at His mercy. I laughed at His timing.
The thing is probably about the size of my pinky and I'm already envisioning the people he will lead or the beauty she will display.
This is my child.
And that is why I lie awake on an otherwise ordinary Monday night.
Because nothing will ever be ordinary again.
8.24.2008
I Smell Stork Poop...
Okay, the time is almost here. As far as the plan goes, they will induce the girl with the green eyes on Tuesday. Sometime, in the hours of pain after that, my little girl will be born. As I am quickly learning, things change fast, so if it does, I probably won't be able to blog to let you know. All I know is that every moment that passes I get closer to seeing her and I can't wait!!!!
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